Anything Other Than Me: One Tree Hill Rewatch: Season 9: Episodes 6-10

We’re in the home stretch! I think I’m ready to say goodbye, but it’s going to be really weird to not have to watch this show anymore.

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Episode 6: “Catastrophe And Cure”

Haley has Dan arrested and when he says he didn’t have anything to do with Nathan’s disappearance, by recapping his role in the entire show, he gets let go. But now even Jamie hates him and is sure he had something to do with it. In order to both clear his name, and fix his family, he rents out Julian’s studio and makes a list of anyone who might want to hurt him. Julian decides to join him, since, apparently the whole, “leave the baby in the car” incident has given him a death wish, and Brooke is kind of done with the supporting him thing.

I dislike this development, as completely dedicated to Brooke’s happiness is the only acceptable way for Julian to be used.

Brooke is still feuding with Tara and steps things up by asking Chris to play at Karen’s Cafe, initially, Chris doesn’t want to cross Tara, but then he learns that Tara and Chase are sleeping together. He decides to play. This leads to a big confrontation, which ends with Chris declaring Chase his best friend, which is actually terribly sweet, and then them at a strip club, which most certainly is not.

I kind of hope we’re now done with Tara, but since we’re down an Alex and Brooke is now a responsible Mom, I guess we need a wild girl.

Mouth also decides to help Dan find Nathan, Quinn believes Dan, and Clay is still in the loony bin, hanging out with that adorable kid who I am still not completely convinced isn’t Clay’s Tyler Durden-esque projection that is the person he becomes when he dissociates.

Oh right, and it turns out that Nathan was kidnapped by the Russian mob, because of poaching Eastern Bloc basketball players which is just, so stupid, I mean really. But now they’re going to ransom him. Or something. Whatever. I know this plot was just because James Lafferty wanted a lower commitment, but still, it’s not great. Haley worries and yells, and also, she watches Lydia take her first steps, and cries because Nathan is not there.

That moment actually kind of got me, you guys, I’m not going to lie.

Episode 7: “Last Known Surroundings”

LUCAS IS BACK! This is one of those episodes that I actually watched when it was on, because I mean, it’s the return of Lucas. He’s taking Jamie and Lydia so that Haley can freak out over Nathan’s disappearance appropriately. She manages to tell a cop what she was thinking about Nathan’s disappearance but it turns out PLOT TWIST, he’s in on the kidnapping, so that’s fun, I guess. Nathan tries to escape, but now he can’t. Also, it’s probably my favorite detail that the Russian thug is talking like one of Lucas’s old voice overs.

Haley and Lucas have an optimist/pessemist conversation about it and it really is remarkable, how many times they’ve traded off on those roles throughout the series.

Brooke learns that Xavier, Jack’s Creepy Brother, is up for parole and she is called to testify at his hearing. She goes to see him first and he apologizes to her, but refuses to come clean about killing Quentin, she testifies that he shouldn’t be let out.

Meanwhile, Julian and Dan analyze a video of Nathan for clues and Dan sees a symbol that means something to him, and not a good something.

Episode 8: “A Rush Of Blood To The Head”

Ooh boy. Things are getting fun now. Everyone seems in on Dan’s “let’s find Nathan” plan, so that’s good. It comes together because Haley has to go identify a body that turns out not to be Nathan and you know, the police can’t investigate since that dumb cop is hiding all the evidence, or whatever’s happening there.

Oh, also Deb is around. It’s good to see Deb.

Lauren’s pregnancy is finally addressed and Skills thinks that it’s his. It’s not, it’s actually GASP! Quinn’s ex husband David’s, because I mean, sure why not. Why wouldn’t David hook up with Skills’s ex girlfriend. This is Tree Hill and there are like six people that live here! Also why is David in Tree Hill? Like, he and Quinn didn’t live there together. It really doesn’t make sense.

Xavier is stalking Brooke. It’s weird and gross but has a bitchin music cue. Chuck’s dad is beating him and Chase has to go back to the air force, and is worried, so he goes to the house and beats the snot out of Chuck’s dad, which is great, but means he’ll be kicked out of the Air Force, so that’s not great.

Oh, yeah and it turns out that Logan, the adorable child is not a Tyler Durden-esque manifestation of Clay’s broken psyche, but Clay’s son with Sarah, the memory of whom he has surpressed for the past few years. I swear to God, Clay is on a completely different television show than everyone else. That show is both infinitely weirder and nowhere near as good as One Tree Hill. 

Oh right, and it turns out that Dan may have been in prison with Demetri, who is responsible for Nathan’s kidnapping. Or something. I don’t know. I’m going to finish this show soon.

Episode 9: “Every Breath Is A Bomb”

Oh boy, things are definitely nuts. So, Xavier is definitely stalking Brooke, he winds up with a job at Tree Hill Cafe, and Brooke is righteously freaked out. To the point that she even goes to his PO, who is frankly unconcerned about this psycho. He winds up threatening Brooke and even breaking into her house and creepily holding one of the boys.

Remember back when I called him a poor man’s Psycho Derek? I take it all back! Xavier would eat Psycho Derek for breakfast.

In other bonkers news, Haley tarts up to tail one of Demetri’s men and then she and Dan kidnap him and torture him for information on Nathan’s whereabouts. This plot is so goddamned weird.

Clay and Quinn decide that they’re going to try to be a part of Adorable Logan’s life, but Logan’s not interested. Skills and Mouth work out and go to visit Jimmy’s grave. Mouth remembers his friend and starts a sports blog.

Chase is being court marshalled, but in the end Chuck comes and talks about how Chase was just protecting him. He’s still discharged, but not dishonorably, and he’s probably not going to go to prison. HOORAY!

Episode 10: “Hardcore Will Never Die, But You Will”

OK, so we’ve found Nathan. And Dan and Julian and Chris are going to get him. But first, Dan has to berate them both about their reasons for helping Nathan.

I want to talk about Chris Keller here though. Dan points out that by finding Nathan, Chris will lose any chance with Haley, but also if he doesn’t go, he’ll have let Haley down. Chris accepts that he never really had Haley. This, my friends, is an important character beat on One Tree Hill, and it turns Chris Keller, of all people, into a sort of Sidney Carton, tis a far far better thing he does, and all that. He loves Haley, he’s always loved Haley, but he wants her to be happy and that means she should be with Nathan, he’s always known this. Since back when he dressed up in the same Halloween costume as Nathan and kissed her, all the way back in Season 3. When I didn’t have to make ham fisted literary comparisons to be able to write about the show.

Anyway, while rescuing Nathan, Dan gets shot, and Nathan kills Demetri, and Julian bonks the stupid cop over the head. Nathan then holds a bleeding Dan in his arms, begging him not to die.

Meanwhile, Xavier attacks Brooke and it’s real gross. He’s definitely going to rape and kill her, but then Tara shows up and tazes him. It’s much more exciting than I’m making it sound, but really, it’s also deeply unnecessary. I return to my opinion that he is Diet Psycho Derek, he doesn’t even bring a photo collage, or an auto tuned pod cast, and there’s not a bloody prom dress in site.

But the Tara rescue is pretty great.

Overall Analysis Of This Arc

I can see the light, you guys! The long tunnel that has been post season 5 is ending and I can see the light. There’s only a week left.

Anyway, I actually am really enjoying this season, it’s bonkers but it’s pretty fun. It’s worth noting that this is much more modern CW than anything the show’s done before, except that the Russian mobsters don’t have weird ties to any ninja groups, no one has super speed and Malcolm Merlyn makes Dan Scott look like the world’s best dad. Oh, and the shooting happens with guns instead of arrows.

But otherwise,this arc would be right at home on Arrow.

Guys, I’m going to be done next week. I’m interested in seeing how the show ends, but also, OH MY GOD I AM SO READY FOR THE SHOW TO END.

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