Life Imitates Entourage, Old Sport

So, I’ve mentioned I work in a big fancy old hotel right? Good. Anyway, I work there, and everyone at my job has gone absolutely crazy for The Great Gatsby. Of course they have, because well, Fitzgerald loved our hotel and set two pretty important scenes in it for the book. Also, we’re hosting the post premier party.

I don’t get to go to that. Shopgirls are not high on the invite list.

But I do get to make some strange observations based on all of this craziness. One of them is this.

Entourage is starting to become reality.

Hear me out, I understand that Entourage doesn’t actually resemble any reality I am familiar with. I do not run around to fancy LA clubs all the time. I never drink Budweiser, and I certainly don’t smoke that much marijuana.

Smoke more weed Turtle, seriously, smoke more weed!

Smoke more weed Turtle, seriously, smoke more weed!

But, if you are even remotely familiar with this ridiculous and completely stupid show, let alone being as intimately familiar with it as I am, you probably know that the movie star at it’s center, Vincent Chase, moved from being a promising B-Lister to a full on A-Lister by playing Aquaman in the totally improbable James Cameron helmed blockbuster of the same name.

This guy...I don't quite get the casting decision either.

This guy…I don’t quite get the casting decision either.

Then Vince went on to be an idiot and ruin everything, with his temper, drive to be an artist and bizarre obsession with playing Pablo Escobar. He went on to be an idiot so severely, it almost made his agent Ari Gold and his best friend/manager Eric explode.

With love for each other, but not really.

With love for each other, but not really.

His idiot older brother was still pretty boring, and didn’t ad much to the mix.

This guy. I don't know. I kind of hate Johnny Drama.

This guy. I don’t know. I kind of hate Johnny Drama.

He came back from his idiocy by playing Nick Carraway in a high profile remake of The Great Gatsby.

Now, I’m not saying that Tobey Maguire is Vincent Chase. That would be ridiculous. Everyone knows that Mark Wahlberg is Vincent Chase. Except Mark is a little more savvy. I’m guessing. Vince could never build that empire. Anyway, I am saying that Vince played Aquaman, and then Nick Carraway, and Tobey played Spider-Man and then Nick Carraway. I think that this may be a significant thing to note.

Tobey has also made some bad choices, which caused him to fall from beloved leading man, to butt of the joke.

It also involved ridiculous hair.

It also involved ridiculous hair.

Not coke and hookers, buying his buddy into a tequila company bad, but still, bad. Not telling the head of a major studio to go fuck himself bad, but bad.

IT WAS REALLY BAD, OK?

IT WAS REALLY BAD, OK? He should have just said, “I will not do that!” and spared us all

I’m hoping that this Gatsby will save him. Even though no one is talking about him. It’s all Leo, Leo, Leo, and Carey, Carey, Carey which sure, but Nick is actually a way more important character than Daisy. Daisy isn’t so much a character as a metaphor for the American dream. (BTW if there’s anything in Gatsby that you don’t understand, but you want to sound smart, just say, “I thought it was an excellent commentary on the fallacy of the American dream.” No one will question you, just about everything in that book is a commentary on the fallacy of the American dream.) It’s actually a major problem I have with previous versions of Gatsby.

Sam Waterston isn't even featured on this poster. If I hadn't grown up in a house where it was a cardinal sin to criticize Robert Redford, this might be considered strange.

Sam Waterston isn’t even featured on this poster. If I hadn’t grown up in a house where it was a cardinal sin to criticize Robert Redford, this might be considered strange.

Anyway, I’m just saying, it’s a little bit funny, that a fictional version of Gatsby has been the only one so far to focus on the actual main character. We don’t even know who played Jay Gatsby with Vince. And I sort of think that’s how it should be.

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