Game Of Thrones Winner: “Eastwatch”

There is a lot of stuff in this episode.

Oh just loads. Just, so much stuff.

But who won? Well, that’s hard for me to pick, but I’m going to go with Jon. Though he doesn’t know half the reason why he gets the win.

Jon and Rhaegal

OH HEY!!!!! YOU’RE MINE NOW. – Rhaegal, probably.

So, here are some things that are happening for Jon. Rhaegal let him pet him. He and Danerys have a plan to get Cersei to leave King’s Landing and fight the army of the dead (maybe). He and Gendry are buddies like instantly.

Oh, and also Gilly finds proof that Rhaegar and Elia’s marriage was annulled and Rhaegar was married to someone else, which means that Jon is in fact, the true born son of Rhaegar Targaryen, and has a better claim on the Iron Throne than Dany, if it weren’t for the whole dragon situation, and the fact that he might not want it.

Oh, also, he’s back through the wall to capture a white walker to bring to King’s landing so that Cersei can believe in the Night King or something. Also, Dany.

Also, there were several longing looks.

Missandei And Grey Worm Watch

Not in the episode. Cersei, however, is pregnant with Jaime’s baby, so my other werido ship is sunk, I guess. (Euron never really stood much of a chance.)

Hey, do you think if Gendry survives everything he and Arya can get together? Remember when he said, “you could be my lady,” to her. So cute.

Sansa’s Agency Watch

Little Finger seems determined to ruin everything good in the world by exploiting the distrust between Sansa and Arya, and Sansa is determined to hold the North, since her siblings (well, and secret King Cousin!) don’t seem to give a rat’s ass. (Granted, Bran and Jon are trying to save Westeros from the apocalypse. And Jon is honoring his people’s wishes by not bending the knee to Dany, but still, I get her frustration.)

Arya Bad Ass Watch

Mostly she’s just skulking, which is important, but all her talk of cutting off heads and people betraying Jon pissed me off almost as much as it pissed Sansa off. Her taking down Little Finger however, would be nice.

Bran Stark’s The Three Eyed Raven’s Excellent Adventure

Bran sees the Night King attacking East Watch, so Jon goes there.

#NotAStark

Rhaegar & Lyanna were married. JON TARGARYEN MOTHER FUCKERS. He is the rightful king of Westeros, the chosen king of the North, and one of the three heads of the dragon.

Oh, also, he’s really sexy, and has a new buddy.

And a plan.

Sam Is A Ravenclaw (Or Possibly A Hufflepuff)

Sam left the Citadel. Gilly, meanwhile, found an important piece of information from a book that may change the course of the story. GILLY IS HERMIONE EVERYONE! Also, Sam needs to stop acting a like a Gryffindor. He’s not. He’s a Ravenclaw, he’s possibly a Hufflepuff. Not that they can’t do heroic things. (Luna Lovegood and Cedric Diggory and all…) Just, you know, all of it feels off.

Oh, but you know. Also, there is proof that Jon is a Targaryen.

How Long Til Jaime Snaps?

He won’t? Seriously, I’m bummed out about this. But, hey, he sort of kind of forgave Tyrion, so Yay?

The Dragon Has Three Heads

A NEW CANDIDATE EMERGES! (I’m talking about Gendry)

Sitcoms Ideas That Could Be The New Spin Off

Bastard Buddies: Jon and Gendry are roommates. I haven’t really gotten beyond that part yet.

Ser Mopey Bear And The Dragon Queen: Jorah and Dany’s life as newlyweds. It’s like King of Queens except with lots of glowering and pregnant pauses.

The Odd Couple: Can two sisters who survived years of trauma share a castle without driving each other crazy?

 

Game Of Thrones Winner: “The Spoils Of War”

Look, I realize there are many things that are great about this episode, and while much like last year’s season finale, part of me wants to declare us the winners again, because of Stark Sisters reunion and you know “Dracarys” and all. But I’m going to have to go with my usual thing here.

Arya Stark is our winner.

Arya

She got home, you guys, and she’s going to train with Brienne, and I don’t think that Little Finger is much longer for this world, thank god.

Overall, there’s just so much joy in the fact that ALL of the remaining Starks are in Winterfell, even if Bran is, you know, not, anymore, or whatever.

Runner up is Drogon. Because, ALWAYS. “Dracarys” will get me EVERY SINGLE TIME!

Missandei And Grey Worm Watch

Both still alive for the moment. Missandei and Dany even talk about the GREATEST SEX IN THE HISTORY OF WESTEROS for a few lines. Also, Davos trying to become buddies with Missandei is the best thing in the world, and all I want is for everyone to be friends with Davos.

We will get to the other shipping thing in #NotAStark

Sansa’s Agency Watch

BAELISH NEEDS TO GO! But other than that, I’m not sure what her reaction is to Arya training with Brienne, she seems like, not on board, exactly. Which is weird. But better is the conversation between Bran, Sansa and Arya, where they discuss the dagger that Baelish gave Bran. Which again, we’ll get to below.

Arya Badass Watch

Arya. Will. Be. Training. With. Brienne. Also she has a Valerian Steel dagger. Time for our Wolf Girl to kill some White Walkers. And she’s back with her family, where she belongs.

Oh, and she’s like 1000% going to kill Little Finger, and probably very soon.

Bran Stark’s The Three Eyed Raven’s Excellent Adventure

Bran claims to not be Bran anymore, which is why he’s very blase about both Baelish giving him the dagger and Meera leaving. But like, also, MEERA DON’T GO! Stay and be badass with the other badass Northern Ladies.

#NotAStark

Jon takes Dany into a cave, and we all know what Jon does with the pretty ladies in caves…

OK, there’s no kissing “down there,” or any hanky panky, really, but why Tyrion and Varys don’t just shake the two of them and say, “IF YOU GET MARRIED IT WILL SOLVE ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS DUMB DUMBS” I can’t quite say. But in this cave, he shows her some paintings of the first men and the children of the forest fighting the army of the dead. She agrees to help him but only if he bends the knee.

Or you know, they could get married.

They are the new ones that I shout, “NOW KISS” at.

Oh, also he doesn’t kill Theon. Which I guess was nice of him.

Sam is A Ravenclaw (Or Possibly a Hufflepuff)

No Sam this week, but his asshole of a brother, Dickon, and his dumbshit father, both almost got fried by Drogon as Dany attacked the Lannister army, which was both amazing and satisfying.

How Long Til Jaime Snaps?

Well, if he survives sinking in his armor in a lake? I’m hoping that Tyrion talks him into the right side, but you know, it’s not super likely. I was nervous he was going to get killed in the battle, further putting his brother and sister at one another’s throats, but luckily Bronn saved him.

The Dragon Has Three Heads

Here’s something that I’ve been thinking about a lot. People are focusing A LOT on whether Dany or Jon are The Prince That Was Promised. But what isn’t being focused on, is that when Rhaegar was interpreting the prophecy, he noted, that “The Dragon Has Three Heads.” Also, remember this is The Song of Ice AND Fire, not Ice OR Fire, which means, that they’re both likely the Prince, and there’s a third. The third head of the dragon.

Likely candidates are Tyrion, who many theorize is also a secret Targaryen, (complicated, but basically, The Mad King was obsessed with Joanna Lannister, and may have raped her resulting in Tyrion. I hate this theory and don’t think it holds water, but whatever.) Jorah, who the Dragons have always known, and who recently “came back to life,” and oddly enough The Hound, who was reborn after his battle with Brienne and who The Lord of Light granted a vision a few episodes ago.

People I would like but who there isn’t really evidence for: Arya, Sansa (especially Sansa), Theon, Sam, Tormund, Bran.

Only three episodes left. (GULP!)

Game of Thrones Winner: “The Queen’s Justice”

Was there a winner last night? I mean besides, me giggling like an idiot while I watched Emilia Clarke and Kit Harrington have actually, hot as fire chemistry with one another?

I think so. And I think it’s someone you might not expect.

Or you might.

Jorah Mormont won last night.

Ser-Jorah-Mormont-888676

Jorah doesn’t have greyscale anymore, because Sam is a boss! He gets to go back to Dany and our Ser Mopey Bear (last week I called him “Mr. Mopey Bear” but I feel the need to ammend it to give include his title, he’s anointed and all…) can’t get a better win that that.

Runners up are Bran and Sansa, and SHUT UP, you’re the one who’s crying.

Missandei And Grey Worm Watch

They are parted, but both doing things, Grey Worm takes Casterly Rock, which isn’t hard, because it turns out Jaime is not a moron, but still, good for him. Missandei meanwhile is announcing Danery’s million and a half names, while Davos introduces Jon Snow, but we’ll get to that.

In other shipping news: Hey, Dany and Jon and the crackling chemisty. Also Euron and Cersie, seriously, guys, I’m into it. I know it’s gross and weird and they’re both awful and obviously I don’t want them to win, but I kind of do? It’s confusing.

Sansa’s Agency Watch

Sansa is doing a very good job ruling Winterfell and ignoring Baelish, and WHY IS HE STILL THERE? She also has a nice chat with Bran and you can tell she is like 1000% done with her brothers and all of their mystical hoo ha. Also, way to bring up her goddamn terrible wedding night, Bran! (I’m still not unconvinced she’s pregnant!) Oh, and Tyrion asks about her to Jon, who’s all “let’s not talk about my sister who you’re still technically married to I guess, but she was like 13, and thanks for not having sex with her I guess?”

Arya’s Badass Watch

No Arya this week.

Bran Stark’s Excellent Adventure

He’s back at Winterfell and tries to explain the whole three eyed raven thing to Sansa, who again, is OVER IT. Perhaps bringing up something other than the most traumatic thing to happen to her over years of compacted trauma was not the way to go? I don’t know, but the scene where they hug is amazing. And I’m crying again.

#NotAStark

You guys, Jon actually said the words, “I’m not a Stark,” tonight. IT’S WORKING. Oh, also he and Dany are hot together. The scene where they first meet is awesome, and why exactly he doesn’t want to tell her about his magical ressurection, I’m not sure of, but whatever, she’s curious, when Davos says that Jon took a knife in his heart, it’s not a figure of speech, it’s literal. He’s very focused, and hey! He gets his Dragonglass, and seriously, how long do you think it is that he’ll be on Dragonstone and how long until he rides a dragon. (Rhaegel, probably, seriously, he should be riding the dragon named after his father.)

Sam Is A Ravenclaw (Or Possibly A Hufflepuff)

Sam is not in trouble for illegally curing Jorah’s greyscale. He also is not hailed as a hero for it. This is probably because Sam is not a Gryffindor, and only Gryffindors get rewarded for breaking rules and it working out best for everyone. (Happy Birthday Harry!)

How Long Til Jaime Snaps?

While I will never forgive him for killing Olenna, wow, does he seem close to the edge these days. Or he’s gone full dark with Cersei, but I think he’s wavering. And Olenna is always right, and she thinks he’s going to lose it. Plus he knows that Olenna killed Joffrey, which he has pushed his brother away for and WOW, is that a problem for Jaime’s confirmation bias.

RIP

Ellaria and Tyene (meh) and Olenna (Actually I’m very sad.) Yara, for the moment appears to be alive.

Varys Talks About Stuff

This time he and Melisandre have a chat about gaining and losing power. She says she’s going back to Volantis, but then also says she’s going to die in Westeros. And she admits she made mistakes (YES BURNING SHIREEN TO DEATH WAS A HUGE FUCKING MISTAKE MELISANDRE) but that she’s played her ultimate role, bringing ice and fire together. Now they need to pull their collective heads out of their butts and GET IT TOGETHER ALREADY.

Sorry about the lasteness of this post. I was at Classic East this weekend, and it was amazing, but I couldn’t watch the episode until I got home from work.

Game Of Thrones Winner: “Stormborn”

Two down, five to go. And we’ve got a pretty clear winner tonight.

Sansa Stark, is tonight’s winner of Game Of Thrones

Sansa season 7

Finally, all of Sansa’s fighting with Jon paid off, and he put her in charge of The North while he heads to Dragonstone to go palaver with Dany. (OK…I’m bringing Dark Tower language into my Game Of Thrones recaps…my fandoms are touching and I’m too excited to care much.) Also, all of the Northern Lords are way more in line with her than they are with Jon, which isn’t great in the long run, but is good for her right now.

Runner up is Euron, because, I mean, it’s Euron. I’m not going to miss The Sand Snakes, but I am going to miss Yara. He gets the win, because that was a decisive victory, but it was brutal, and to quote Michael, “Euron is going to be a problem.” 

Missandei And Grey Worm Watch:

OMG! OMG! OMG! Before Grey Worm goes off to conquer Casterly Rock in Dany’s name, Missandei comes to say goodbye, and they confess their love, and then they kiss and then they have SEX! And it’s AWESOME! And I managed not to squee, but OMG! OMG! OMG! How does Grey Worm, who as we all know, does not have a dick, have sex with Missandei? He goes down on her. And it’s great, and I’m really, happy about this.

Sansa’s Agency Watch

She won this week. I’m worried in the long run about what that power is going to do to my girl, but I’m happy for her, and the agency, there is so much of it.

Arya Bad Ass Watch

Arya is slowly but surely becoming a person again, and it’s really a cool arc. This week she saw Hot Pie again, and they talked about how Jon is The King In The North now, and she decided to abandon her “Kill Cersei” quest and go home, UNTIL, she encounters Nymeria and her pack (OMG OMG OMG!) in the woods, and her wolf refuses to come with her. You aren’t yet a wolf again Arya.

Bran Stark’s Excellent Adventure

No Bran this week.

#NotAStark

This week, our King In The North, the last son of Ned Stark, who, lest we forget is #notastark, got two important letters, one from Sam, and one from Tyrion. The one from Tyrion was asking him to come to Dragonstone and meet Dany and then bone her…umm, OK, actually is was requesting he bend the knee. But whatever. The one from SAM, pointed out that there’s a giant mountain of dragonglass at Dragonstone. So, Jon’s off south with Davos. The Lords of The North are #notonboard, but he’s leaving Sansa in charge, so that should go well. (I do not anticipate this going well.)

Sam Is A Ravenclaw (Or Possibly A Hufflepuff)

Sam continues to feel useless at Hogwarts, but when he’s standing with the Archmaester, he does get to check out Jorah’s greyscale. Then he sears and cuts it off, and it is disgusting. But hey, Jorah, might not have greyscale anymore? So that’s a win! And Sam does all of this out of memory to Lord Commander Mormont, and comes very short of saying, “I’m a good person, and also your dad was THE SHIT, so you’re not dying of greyscale on my watch, Mr. Mopey Bear.”

How Long Til Jaime Snaps?

Oh, well, since Euron’s likely to sail back to King’s Landing with Ellaria Sand’s head? Which means Cersei will probably marry him? Not long now. Also, he was trying to convince Sam’s dad to fight for Cersei. He did not succeed. I don’t think he’ll be able to succeed in getting many allies for Cersei, since he barely believes in her himself anymore.

People Dany Should 100% Listen To

Olenna Tyrell and Varys. Also Jon. Tyrion had a good plan that did not calculate for Euron and Theon being a total weenie.

Has Little Finger Learned ANYTHING?

Nope. People might remember that once upon a time, Brandon Stark almost killed him in a duel for Cat’s hand. Then there was that time that Ned put him into a wall for hiding Cat in a brothel, and now Jon chokes him out and threatens to kill him if he touches Sansa.

Granted, he did outlive both Brandon and Ned, but still, like, don’t mess with their women, Baelish. It’ll get you beat up.

 

Game of Thrones Winner: “Dragonstone”

GUUUYYYYYYSSSSSSS!!!!! It’s Back! Winter is here, (well, actually it’s the butt crack of summer.) (And the AC in my house is busted.) (So, not really feeling, the “winter.”) and we’re back in Westeros, and Game of Thrones is back and are you excited? Because I am excited!

It’s time to pick a winner, and well, other things. We have some definite not winners, that’s for sure. The Freys? Not winners. Those people that lived in that house where Beric, Thoros and The Hound were hanging out, definitely not winners. Ed Sheeran? Maybe a winner?

Nah, really, I’ve picked my winner, after some thought.

Danerys Targaryen

gots6dany

She’s barely in the episode, but it’s good stuff. Her walk through Dragonstone, barely believing that she’s finally in Westeros, let alone at the place of her birth is stunning. Her joy at finding Stannis’s war table, at her obsidian throne and her one line, “Shall we begin?” CHILLS, CHILLS.

Runner up is Arya, because, also chills (from when she poisoned the Freys, not from when she had a jam session with Ed Sheeran and his buddies. That was just weird.)

Missandei and Grey Worm Watch 

They’re behind their queen as always, and it’s the best. In other shipping news?

STOP TRYING TO MAKE TORMUND AND BRIENNE A THING SHOW.

Also, Gilly and Sam are adorable.

And I ship Cersei/Euron a little. I mean, it would be terrifying, but also kinda hot.

Sansa’s Agency Watch

Sansa. My love. My true Westerosi soul sister. You’re not going to get anywhere with Jon by telling him your father and brother were idiots (they were) and then comparing him to Joffrey. (She did take this back. Jon is nothing like Joffrey, what a stupid thing to say.) However, the way you are dealing with Little Finger is perfect. Keep doing that, with the cutting him down with your words, and refusing to make eye contact. That was good.

Arya Badass Watch

The whole first scene, with her wearing Walder Frey’s Face, was pure badass. It was really cool, and very quiet and interesting and yet brutal. Well done, Thrones. Less badass? Eating rabbit in the woods with Ed Sheeran. Why is Ed Sheeran in Westeros? I mean, is Tay Tay going to show up too? The scene was fine, and a definite reminder that Westeros is truly screwed up still, from The War of The Five Kings and other stuff…but seriously, why, with the Ed Sheeran? WHY???

Bran Stark’s Excellent Adventure

Bran and Meera are at the Wall. I assume that this is so that anyone gives a shit what happens at the Wall. Also so that he can eventually get to Winterfell, and all of the remaining Starks can give each others hugs.

#NotaStark

This is a new feature where I spend large chunks of the show shouting, “JON IS NOT A STARK ” at random characters. I mean he is, but he also isn’t. He never was he was Snow, a northern bastard, and as it turns out he’s a Targaryen. If they had twitter in Westeros, #notastark would be a thing, and since they now have Ed Sheeran in Westeros, I assume twitter is not far behind.

Sam’s A Ravenclaw (Or maybe a Hufflepuff….)

This new feature will talk about Sam’s days at Hogwarts…I mean The Citadel. He spends a lot of time clearing bed pans and we get a montage of it and its gross, but interesting. Anyway, he talks to one of the Maestars about the end of the world, and we get a monologue about how it’s not the end of the world, so Sam steals some books, learns that Dragonstone is built on a mountain of dragonglass and sends Jon a note.

Oh and who just so happened to move into Dragonstone? Dany! Who needs a whole mess of Dragonstone real fast? Jon! You know who needs to meet? And then get married? And then bone? Jon and Dany! (Not necessarily in that order.)

Oh, also he takes care of people with Greyscale, and one of the is totally Jorah, like, they didn’t even try to hide it.

How Long Until Jaime Snaps?

Well, the death of his last child didn’t do it. Nor did Cersei flirting hard with Euron Greyjoy. Nor did learning that Tyrion is on Dany’s side now.

But this guy has very few straws left on the camel’s back. Something’s going to happen soon.

Other Pop Stars I would Like to see in Westeros:

Taylor (always), Lady Gaga, Lorde, Drake, Justin Timberlake, Any of The Living Jacksons But Especially Janet, Adele, Michael Buble.

Winter Is Here

Not to get overly gushy or anything, but OhMiGod OhMiGod You Guys! Game of Thrones comes back on Sunday.

While it’s a short visit to Westeros (only 7 episodes, although I’m choosing to think of it in terms of the two 7 episode seasons actually giving us 4 more episodes than one 10 episode season would, it’s still hard to stomach the abbreviation.)

I’ve spent a large chunk of my summer trying NOT to obsess over the fact that Game of Thrones wasn’t back and now it’s coming back and OMG I’m so happy that it’s back.

What’s going to be weird is I’ve lost some of my sounding board for the show. Mary and Joe have moved across the country and into a different time zone, so even discussing the show with them is going to be delayed, I will now rely on you, trusty blog folk, even more to flail over episodes with me.  But, since it’s been longer than usual, and because I’ve been avoiding it I haven’t rewatched the show as I usually do leading into the new season, let’s consider where we’re at:

Starks:

Jon has been declared The King In The North, and Sansa appears to be the power behind that. Little Finger (BLEH) brought the Knights of The Eyrie to save their bacon, and has declared that he wants the Iron Throne and Sansa as his queen (TRIPLE BLEH). Jon has banished Melisandre, and he and Davos are all set to shift everyone’s attention from King’s Landing to North of The Wall, where the White Walkers continue to grow in power.

Oh, also, Jon is actually the son of Lyanna Stark and Rhaegar Targaryen, and is possibly, if Lyanna and Rhaegar were married the true heir to the Iron Throne, a prime candidate to be The Prince That Was Promised, and will, if all badassness is to be fulfilled, become the rider of one of Dany’s dragons. (Probably the one named for his father.)

Or he’ll die, because George RR Martin.

Arya has begun her vengeance quest. We’ll see how that goes. Bran is officially the Three Eyed Raven now, I think?

Lannisters:

Cersei is on the Iron Throne, all her kids are dead, Jaime likely won’t put up with her shit much longer and The Sand Snakes and The Tyrells are coming for her. I want few things in this story more than Jaime killing Cersei and then himself. It feels narratively necessary.

Tyrion we’ll get to later, but yeah.

Daenerys Targaryen, Stormborn, Queen of The Seven Kingdoms & Mereen, Breaker of Chains, Khaleesi of The Great Grass Sea & Mother Of Dragons

Khaleesi is headed for Westeros, everybody say WOOO!!!! She’s got a fleet of Greyjoy ships, as well as the ships of the slavemasters, she’s got a crap ton of Dorthraki and the Unsullied on her side, plus she’s got the council of Tyrion Lannister and Lord Varys and Dragons.

We’ve seen pictured of Dany and Jon together, but whether that’s because they have scenes together or Emilia and Kit were just having a chat remains to be seen. BUT OH BOY do I want those two unsmiling hardasses to meet up and scowl at each other.

People Who I Think Are Going To Die

I mean, besides everyone? I do not think that Davos is long for this world, The Lord of Light and Melisandre as his emissary are probably not going to let his rejection stand.

Cersei, as I’ve explained and Jaime after her.

Jorah, also probably a goner, which is a bummer.

People Who May Live But Who I Don’t Think Things Will Work Out So Great For

The Good Greyjoys: I just don’t see things working out for Yara and Theon. Euron is supposed to be the most sadistic and terrifying villain we’ve seen yet, according to Martin, and he’s been thwarted by his niece and disgraced nephew, which I do not think he will take well. Also, it’s not like, out of the question that Arya: Spirit of Lady Stoneheart decides that Theon’s redemption is bullshit and murders the crap out of him.

Sansa: Too much went Sansa’s way last season. It was awesome, don’t get me wrong, but she’s long overdue for a large scale setback that is also completely horrifying.

Dany & Jon: Look I want things to work out for these crazy kids. I want them married, ruling Westeros and defeating The Others with dragonfire. BUT, this is Thrones. Martin’s never met a fantasy trope he didn’t subvert, castrate, rape, murder, feed to dogs and then set on fire. Secret son of the king, turned reborn chosen one and exiled princess returning to her true throne 100% qualify as the kind tropes he loves to stomp all over. Thus, I fear that our beloved Prince and Princess Who Were Promised are likely to wind up dead in the snow, their eyes turning blue, servants of the Night’s King. Sam and Tyrion will likely avenge them. Martin likes them a lot. A little too much, frankly.

People I will Miss Very Much This Season

Margaery Tyrell. King Tommen The Adorable. Ser Barristan Selmy. Shireen Baratheon. Stannis Baratheon. Hodor. The Faceless Man/J’Quen H’Ghar. The High Sparrow.

People I Will Not Miss At All And Thank God They’re Finally Dead/Not Involved Anymore

Walder Frey. Loras Tyrell. Ramsey Bolton. Myranda. The Fucking Waif. Every Single Character In Mereen Who Wasn’t Directly Allied With Dany.

Shipping Things I Want

Yara/Dany

Jon/Dany

Dany/Anyone (Seriously, I ship her with the whole world)

Brienne/Jaime

Shipping Things I DO NOT Want

Brienne/Tormund (DIIIIEEEEE IN A FIRRRREEEEE)

Dany/Tyrion (OK, so there’s one exception I don’t want her with)

Sansa/Anyone

Funny Thing That Happened To Me This Weekend

So on Saturday, my friend Owen mentioned that he started that show and that he’s halfway through season 2 and he hopes that Robb Stark doesn’t get corrupted by his new found power. He asked me if this happens and I half laughed/half cried, “No, Robb does NOT in fact corrupted by power.” Then he said that he didn’t I think that Robb should be the king, to which I replied, “Well, even at the point you’re at no, because I don’t think there should be a king, there should be a queen.”

Then he kept prying about what happened to Robb and I explained that this kind of conversation gets people mad at me, and he said he doesn’t care about spoilers, and everyone who’s watched the show said pretty much in unison, “OH NO, you care about this.”

Because there are spoilers and not caring and then there’s having someone wreck the Red Wedding for you.

Anyway, I told him if he wanted my thoughts, he was free to come read the thousands of words that I’ve written here about the show.

And there are more to come.

Guys, it’s back on Sunday.

Winter is Here.

The Fall of The House of Pope

“I don’t know…every hero has one. If you don’t find it and learn to control it…well, they don’t call it fatal for nothing.” – Annabeth Chase Percy Jackson and The Olympians: The Sea of Monsters by Rick Riordan

Back in my former life, as an English literature student, my fellow lit majors and I would sit around and analyze things. Sometimes, this was for our homework, sometimes, it was for fun. Often it was pop culture. When it was for fun, the stuff we were analyzing tended to lean more “pop” than “culture.”

I was thinking about this last night as I watched the end of Scandal season 6, and wishing that any of my lit major friends still watched Scandal. (Crystan quit when Olivia had her Christmas abortion and Beth didn’t watch at all, I don’t think?) because as I stared in horrorjoy (an emotion I have coined specifically for the work of Shonda Rhimes.) at Olivia Pope as she smiled coyly at Cyrus Beane when he asked her how it felt to be the most powerful person in the world, I realized that we’ve been watching a tragedy, in the classical sense all along.

Olivia is ready for a fall and we know that Scandal is ending in 2 seasons, which gives Shonda and Co 40-ish episodes to end this right, with our once white hatted heroine completely and utterly destroyed.

Let’s talk about Olivia Pope, and why I think she’s actually a perfect tragic hero. We first met her six years ago, and she was uncompromised. She was the good guy, the white hat, (literally, she was melodramatically dressed in white most of the time.) ever fighting for the underdog, tortured by a love she couldn’t ever have, sure, but her conscience was clear (OR WAS IT?) but as that first season unfolded, we learned that she’d chosen, along with Mellie Grant, Cyrus, and some other people who don’t really matter now, to rig an election so that her lover could become president.

Olivia Pope

Look how innocent she was

Olivia Pope loves power, and she will do what she needs to do to grab it. Of course lots has happened since then. She’s broken up with Fitz maybe seventy times, Jake Ballard became a thing (TEAM JAKE!), she was kidnapped, she beat a wheelchair bound man to death with a chair, and she once again ascended to the White House on Grant coattails, even if these are the much more stylish and competent tails of Mellie rather than the boring and useless ones of Fitz.

 

But this finale. Here, she allied with both of her parents, her father, who is, in D&D terms, lawful evil, and her mother, who defies classification beyond, BATSHIT LOONY TOONS, in order to save Mellie’s presidency, which was never really in trouble, since it turns out Cyrus was manipulating everything. (Mary: He’s literally the devil. I’m surprised they haven’t just given him horns…) AND THEN she reinstituted B-613, and made herself Command.

She is no longer uncompromised. She is no longer the white hat. She is now the thing that she used to fight.

Which means she has to go down.

You might think it’s this lust for power that is our tragic hero’s flaw here, and it’s not. No, there are plenty of power hungry people in the Scandal pantheon and except perhaps for Elizabeth North, who was an idiot, it didn’t cause their downfall.

No, Liv’s flaw is her guilty conscience. She founded OPA to atone for Defiance. She pushed Mellie to the White House to make up for that whole stealing her husband thing. She forgave her father, well, mostly because the plot needed it, but I think it had something to do with beating Andrew to death with a chair. Hell, she missed Cyrus’s masterminding of the whole “killing Frankie Vargas,” because she felt so guilty about putting him prison (FOR A THING HE DID).

Running B-613 is going to destroy Olivia. She killed Luna Vargas (well, convinced her to commit suicide, but it amounts to the same thing.), she threatened David Rosen’s job. (IF THEY CORRUPT DAVID I WILL BE SO SAD. He is the only main cast member who has not committed murder at this point.) The guilt will eat her from the inside out and it will be her undoing.

So, I hope that this is the direction the show is going. Olivia is on top the world now, and for this show to maintain any of the goodwill it won back this season, it needs narrative direction, and the only logical narrative direction is a tragic fall.

Scandal should end with Olivia broken, possibly dead, certainly powerless.

And to give it the kind of Irony that all Tragic Heroes deserve? Huck should pull the trigger.

Or Fitz, but I think I’d rather it be Huck.