A Voice of A Generation

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In the very first episode of Girls Lena Dunham’s clueless Hannah tells her parents that she thinks she might be the voice of her generation.

The joke here obviously is that Hannah is in no way shape or form capable of such of thing. Nor is it possible to judge such a thing while it’s happening. But I was twenty four, I watched that pilot not long after running out of money and time, and moving from a windowless bedroom in a shared Brooklyn apartment back to the large, beautiful house that my parents built while I was in college. And something about the show felt vibrant and real, and close to who I was in that moment.

Girls taught me a lot over the past six years. Reading about and disecting it taught me even more. But the main lesson I got from the show, was that “representation matters.”

Now I’m not talking about the fact that Girls is problematic in it’s general diversity, I’m not talking about the fact that Dunham herself is a difficult personality to push past, because both of those things are true, I’m talking about the fact that I’d never seen something hit what my friends and I were going through in a specific moment so squarely as season 1 (and to a smaller degree season 3) of Girls did.

I am a rich white girl with artistic aspirations. (Though every character on this show refusing to get a day job always drove me absolutely bonkers) (Except Shosh. I mean obviously.) Girls is literally about people like me, and I’d never seen anything that was literally about people like me before. I’d related to characters and stories, but never had anything so specifically fitting my profile hit before.

Which brings me to representation. I never knew that I was missing representation until I saw that representation. And I want everyone to have that moment of recognition. To hear a character say something, even if that something is perverse and obtuse and disconnected from most of reality, that hits your reality so fricking perfectly that you will love that film, TV show, piece of music forever.

Cross identification in fiction is wonderful. It builds empathy and understanding and expands minds. I wouldn’t be the person I am, if I didn’t see parts of myself in characters that were nothing like me. But the sheer power of seeing someone so close to myself, even in four parts, as I did when I watched Girls is so overwhelming, so beautiful, such a call in the dark that “you are not alone,” that I want everyone to get that. Which is why I want to hear stories from all kinds of creators, and why I’ve been making a concerted effort to search out those stories in my life for the few years.

But I want to state for the record that Girls was what opened that window for me. I’d heard pleas for diversity before it, and understood, because I like stories from people who aren’t like me, but didn’t understand this need to see yourself on screen and in stories. Until I did, and it felt like magic. It felt like Lena Dunham, with her writing, and acting, as well as the acting of Allison Williams & Zosia Mament, (and to a lesser extent Jemima Kirke, because I don’t see a lot of myself in Jessa. Though I do see several of my friends) saw my heart, and suddenly the world was brighter.

Everyone should get that feeling, and Girls gave me that feeling, and I will miss it terribly now that it’s over. I’ll miss it the same way I miss the friends I had when the show started. A lot of those people are not in my life anymore, because adulthood is complicated.

Deconstructing Defenders: Daredevil: Season 2: Episodes 3 & 4

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Season 2: Episode 3: “New York’s Finest”

While Season 2 in total is no where near as effective as season 1, this episode is among the best in the entire Defenders run. Frank has Matt chained to a water tower on a roof, and they talk about heroism, murder, Matt says Franks name like seven million time, “Frank, you don’t have to Frank! FRANK DON’T!” And then, after getting out, Matt takes part in The Hallway Fight 2.0.

But that basic summary really doesn’t do the conversation justice, especially not when you take fandom into consideration. There’s an ongoing conversation in fandom circles, only magnified by a certain director on the other side of the fence, about whether Superheroes should kill. And here’s that conversation, in detail, by two characters basically on opposite sides of the spectrum. Daredevil doesn’t kill, and beats him self up mentally and spiritually when he thinks about the pain he inflicts. The Punisher kills first, asks questions later, or, for the most part not at all.

“You’re one bad day away from being me,” is such a chillingly true statement, and I love it so much.

The other part of this episode is Foggy following Claire around asking her to help him find Matt and her basically being like, “I like Matt, but he’s a pain in my ass, so I’m cutting a running,” which, I can’t blame her for, but also CLAIRE! DON’T GO!

Karen decides that justice can only be served by Karen Page being nosy, so she does that and finds an x-ray of Frank Castle’s skull, with a bullet lodged in it.

Season 2: Episode 4: “Penny And Dime”

This episode is not as good as the last one, but it’s still really good, and has that epic shot of Daredevil standing in the rain on top of a church, which is pretty damn great. It also, unfortunately has the stupid, Karen and Matt rain kiss which is just. UGHHHHHH.

Anyway, Matt manages to corner Frank and Frank tells the amazing story of coming home from war to find his daughter in school. It’s heartbreaking and beautiful and awesome and I love everything about the scene, from Matt, sitting on the ground beside him, to the explanation of “one batch, two batch, penny and dime,” to now Sergeant Brett Mahoney apprehending The Punisher. YAY!

Matt, Foggy and Karen celebrate with beers and shots, and then Matt and Karen make out in the rain, but their chaste happy joy is short lived, as Matt gets home and Electra is sitting in his apartment, ready to throw things at him.

Other Stuff

  • Jon Beranthal can deliver a speech. That is all
  • Rosario Dawson is the best. That is also all.
  • I’m mean about Karen’s snooping, but it is actually well done, I just hate the relationship between Matt and Karen and wish that it didn’t happen. And her finding Frank’s house is really a cool moment.
  • Matt trying to get his priest to forgive him for shit that’s not his fault is both very sad and hilarious.
  • The Irish mobsters kill Frank’s dog, because apparently these men have not seen John Wick. Which is a shame because killing an unstoppable killers dog. Also, because John Wick is a great movie.
  • Guys! ELECTRA’S HERE!!!!

Deconstucting Defenders: Daredevil Season 1: Episodes 11 & 12

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We’re nearing the end of Season 1, and I’m very glad that I made this decision, even if I sometimes sort of forget to watch  the show. Anyway, let’s talk about this week’s episodes!

Episode 11: “The Path of The Righteous”

So Karen kills a guy. I feel like this is an action that doesn’t really get enough consequence. I mean, it’s not even like she kills a random ninja or a henchman or something. She kills Wesley, who’s Fisk’s right hand man and only friend, and she shoots him the face. Maybe they’ll finally address it on The Punisher, but it really doesn’t get adequate follow in the following two episodes or in season 2 that I can remember.

Anyway, other things happen in this episode, like Foggy sleeps with stupid ex Marcy. (Ew) and Matt and Claire have a talk about their what could have been. (SHIP IT SO HARD I HURT INSIDE) and Matt talks to his priest about the nature of The Devil some more, and Fisk weeps at Vanessa’s bedside and Owlsley makes it about himself and Ben gives Karen some advice and oh yeah, Karen kills Wesley.

Oh, also Matt meets Milton, who’s the suit making guy, and asks him to make him a suit that’s a symbol, of some kind. And my heart skipped a beat, because guys, I really love the Daredevil suit.

Anyway, on to that thing where KAREN KILLS WESLEY!!!! It’s a really, really good scene. The acting is probably the best that Deborah Ann Wohl does in the whole series.

Episode 12: “The Ones We Leave Behind”

The death of Ben Urich is something that I’m not sure the show ever will recover from. Losing him as a grounding character loses a lot, and while it’s an understandable story beat, and even a really good mirror to the death of Wesley in the previous episode (both deaths are deeply personal, neither calculated and leave gaping holes on each team.) And while Ben’s final sacrifice for the truth is a noble one, it still feels like a weird and unecessary loose end. Not to mention, this is basically the last time that Karen deals with the fact that she shot a guy.

Fisk meanwhile is scrambling without Wesley and with Vanessa in the hospital and with needing to get his mother to safety. This is exactly how Matt wants him, discombobulated and all, but it’s also a dangerous position to put everyone else in. Matt manages to set fire to Madame Gao’s heroin operation and Owlsley reveals that the cause of Vanessa’s poisoning is himself and Gao together.

Overall, while there’s plenty of emotion in this episode, there isn’t much plot. These episodes both move key parts into place for the finale, but nothing much else goes on. *shrug*

Other Stuff

  • Foggy’s reunion with Bitchy Ex

Otherwise Occupied

Hi everyone! Since I started my new job I’ve been, well, just not super into blogging, I have ideas, on top of ideas, but just haven’t felt much like putting them down. I’m doing my best to get organized, and it’s not like I’m not obsessing. (Holy Cow, Star Wars: Rebels! Am I ever obsessed!) Just, forming it into something, is proving difficult. I’m hoping that in the next few days I get it a little more together for you guys.

I’ll do my best.

But meanwhile, seriously holy crap, Star Wars: Rebels!

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That’s Sabine, and she’s my new fave forever.

Or until I find something else to be obsessed with.

Team Jess & Other Stars Hollow Hopes

The trailer for the Netflix Revival of Gilmore Girls dropped this week. The revival will take 4 “movies” at about an hour and a half each, and trace the lives of Rory & Lorelai (And Emily, Luke, and everyone else.) over the course of a year, each season being represented.

The show is dropping the Friday after Thanksgiving (brilliant!) and I’ve already vowed to slow my binge roll on it, so that my mom, my sister and I can all watch together. Preferably curled on the couch with big mugs of hot chocolate and baggy sweaters. (This is unlikely to happen. Knowing us it will be old yoga pants and red wine. Also fab, but you know, a girl can dream).

And now I warn you. I generally don’t engage in ship wars (despite being a shipping garbage person) but this is different. I fight in this army, I am always and forever Team Jess. I know teams aren’t really the thing in shipping anymore, now it’s the amalgam names, but this is old school, and it’s always going to be Team Jess.

Now, I’m not saying that Jess and Rory’s relationship was good. It was a trash fire. He was mean to her, she unfairly compared him to Dean at every turn, and their breakup that wasn’t really a break up, his numerous returns and obviously the greatest moment in the entire show.

I’m speaking of course about when Jess comes to see Rory while she’s living with Richard and Emily and asks her why she’s flushing her life down the toilet, specifically the line, “You dropped out of Yale? WHY DID YOU DROP OUT OF YALE?” which is my second favorite Milo Ventimiglia performance. (It was recently dropped from the top spot by this week’s This Is Us, when Jack told Rebecca, “Between you and the kids, it’s you, every time.” Behind it, is the moment when Peter meets Claire in the hallway of her high school during season 1 of Heroes, and the moment on American Dreams where Chris apologizes to Meg for making light of JJ’s stint in Vietnam.).

Anyway, we catch glimpses of Dean (WOOORRRRRSSSSTTTTT) and Logan (Ehh) in the trailer, but only Jess gets to talk. I think this is important. These two always got each other, and that’s why they belong together. I want them to be together. I want it so badly.

Other Thoughts About All Of This:

  • I want to know what the Lorelais think of Ryan Murphy
  • I am in no way prepared for the death of Richard Gilmore, I am in complete denial about it.
  • I’m diving back into Gilmore Guys, and have gotten well into season 6. These episodes are long. And that’s just for 45 minute old episodes.
  • I’m curious what Logan’s up to these days.
  • Paris is not in this trailer. This is not OK.
  • Luke and Lorelai are together. THANK GOD!
  • Christopher is also not in this trailer. I’m more OK with that.
  • We’re only a few weeks away from this.

 

Cosplay Corner: XOXO

This week, I decided to celebrate fall by picking a theme that really feels like fall to me, more than anything else. I don’t know why but there’s something eternally autumnal about Gossip Girl

Blair Waldorf

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I started off with the greatest character in the history of the world! Blair Waldorf. This was pretty easy, as I seriously went through a 2 year long phase where everything I bought was subjected to the “Would Blair Wear This? (if she would deign to shop in a mall in Scranton, PA)” But a lot of those clothes don’t fit me anymore, so there was an element of challenge to it.

Anyway, I went with a marroon mini skirt, black tights and a black tee shit. I added this gorgeous pearl bib necklace (A gift from Mary) and obviously a headband. This one is black with flowers made out of zippers. I wore black flats, because Blair was the queen of the ballet flat.

Jenny Humphrey


Jenny’s a tough approach as she had so many phases in look. I went with the season 1 “Little J” look, mostly because I had to go to work, and I didn’t feel like wearing all the eyeliner in the world. So, I wore grey tights, and a black long sleeve shirt under a white BCBG dress. I thought it looked very innocent and cute. I also did a side ponytail, because I seem to remember her doing her hair that way. I did throw on my combat boots though, as a slight nod to her punk era.

Nate Archibald


I settled on Nate for which boy to do, because I don’t quite have the style to pull Chuck off and Dan’s look is pretty boring. So, shrunken blazer with white trim, white tee shirt and black pants. I do not have floppy hair or perfect piercing blue eyes, but otherwise, I think it works.

Serena Vanderwoodsen


I was scoping out pintrest for ideas when I realized I recreate Serena’s outfit from the first few scenes of the show, so that’s what I did. Jeans, Frye boots, black and white striped shirt, scarf and brown leather jacket (man, that thing has come in handy). All set to jump off a train in Grand Central station and go see my suicidal younger brother, plus jumpstart all of the drama in the world!

Alright friends, that’s all I’ve got for today! Next week, it’s time for New York Comic Con!!!! I’m really excited about it and I hope to see everyone there!

XOXO Fangirl

Things I’m Obsessed With Right Now: Indian Summer

Summer seems to be finally breaking and I’m thrilled about that. I love fall and here’s a bunch of the stuff that I’m using to wait out the heat, so we get to the time of year of tights, sweaters and boots. (I’ve already started with boots though…)

Anyway, here we go:

  • Gilmore Guys: I mean obviously, but I’ve been listening to it like crazy, not at the expense of my other podcasts, but a whole lot.
  • “Nobody’s Crying” a song by Sutton Foster about her divorce from Christian Borle. It’s on her solo album Wish. It’s melancholy and heartbreaking and perfect, and I’ve loved it for a while, but Crystan and I listened to it while we were driving into the city on Saturday and my love for it has sprung anew. Listen to it, I swear you won’t be disappointed.
  • Revolutionary Girl Utena…WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHOW? I should explain, despite a long list of anime that friends I love and trust have recommended to me, I decided instead to dive into this one because, “The Mary Sue says that it heavily inspired Steven Universe.” As I have previously noted, I will do just about anything The Mary Sue tells me to, so I clicked it on Hulu and now I’m sucked in when I should finally be watching Stranger Things or at least Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood like everyone I know told me to. And yet now I’m sucked into this weird anime about sword fighting and lesbians and incest where everything might just be happening inside of the characters heads or whatever. But it’s fantastic and I love it and I think Utena might be my new favorite protagonist in anything (Sorry Korra.) Mostly because I love a passive protagonist. (Sup Harry Potter?) And Utena doesn’t really do anything except wear a totally stylish blazer and get dragged along by the plot. I’ll do a full post about it when I finish, but it’s taking up a lot of my time and brain power.
  • My friend Lora’s daily closet cosplays! She’s putting me to shame you guys! Check out her Tumblr and Instagram (@dailycasualcosplay)!
  • Party Planning! I made the facebook event for my birthday party this year and I’m really excited about it. My costume is done, which means I can focus on the other fun stuff, liked themed food and drinks, decorations, and entertainment options! I’m really excited about it.
  • Comic Con planning. I’m so organized that I’m worried I’m missing something. But I’m going to just let it go. (LET IT GOOOO…)

So that’s what I’m doing right now. See you tomorrow with more stuff!