The 007 Project: Octopussy

Previously On The 007 Project: I got back in the general swing of things and so did Roger Moore! For Your Eyes Only was a wonderful return to form

Who’s Our Bond: We’re still on Moore and I like him more than ever in this run. Seriously, the movies are keeping their lightness, but have lost their Smokey And The Bandit style zaniness, and are all the better for them. I’m hoping that we enter a similar tone coming up soon in this franchise, but we’ll get to my hopes for the future in the great beyond of someday when No Time To Die comes out. Anyway, Roger Moore, still very good. I know I’ve only been through 3 on this project, but he really is my front runner favorite.

What’s The Plot: A fabrege egg has been stolen and replaced by a fake! Also the Russians are trying to get Western Europe to disengage on a nuclear level, so that they can bomb the US without reprisal. Standard Cold War shit. While tracking the assasination of 009, Bond finds himself caught up with some jewel smugglers and a weird cult, led by the Octopussy, a poweful business woman, with a stupid name. She and Bond have several, “we’re not so different, you and I,” moments and obviously wind up in love.

It is quickly learned that the fake egg is a nuclear device of some kind, and there’s some nonsense with a circus and the American base in West Berlin, but basically Bond solves the case, and he and Octopussy float off together.

Tell Me About The Girl

I really enjoyed Octopussy, as played by Maud Adams. I like that she was more mature, that she had her own concerns outside of Bond and the mission and I hate her stupid name, but otherwise, this is a real step forward, Bond Girl wise.

The Song Is The Thing

“All Time High” is actually a really rad song, performed by Rita Coolidge and hey Tim Rice wrote the lyrics. (I am, if you followed my travails in the past year, a fan of Sir Tim’s work! The Lion King! Evita! Chess!) I think it’s funny that they realized they couldn’t call the song “Octopussy” because it is such a stupid name. So stupid. I hate it so much.

Overall Thoughts

While hating the title is a big thing for me here, I genuinely enjoyed watching this movie. It’s fun, breezy, and well performed. I’ll get into it more next week, but I very much appreciate that Moore was able to ride out his tenure on a high note of three good movies.

Which brings us to next week! A View To A Kill! Christopher Walken! Tanya Roberts (RIP)! Grace Jones! Very Exciting

Nerd Homework: Supernatural: Season 15

“I know how you see yourself Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You’re destructive and you’re angry and you’re broken. You’re Daddy’s blunt instrument. And you think that hate and anger that’s what drives you, that’s who you are. It’s not. And everyone who knows you, sees it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, is for love. You raise your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You’re the most caring man on earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being, I will ever know.” – The Angel Castiel to Dean Winchester, Supernatural Season 15

After letting a steady exhale out this past week, plus a few neatly timed Pinterest hits, I realized it was probably time for me to finish something I’d started well over two years ago. It was time to finish Supernatural.

I started watching the show two years ago mostly out of boredom and curiosity. I’d tried it before and it had never taken, but I do have a tendency to latch onto things here on this blog. Or at least I did in the before times. When I decided to watch over a decade of this show in a six month period, I did not expect to love it how I did.

I didn’t expect to love it so much that I had to wait until I’d unclenched about a whole bunch of other things before I felt comfortable releasing the emotions I knew were going to come, and, I have to admit for a while I was worried. About the way the show was going and about myself. I hadn’t cried at all.

Well that changed.

The final three episodes of Supernatural are charged for tears, from Castiel’s tearfilled, love confessing good bye to Dean. (Quoted above) to Jack’s decision to leave the boys and humanity behind to become a more compassionate and loving God than Chuck ever could have been, to Dean’s death and ascension to a heaven designed for him, and the long drive and happy life for Sam, before they can be reunited.

When Dean enters heaven and Bobby describes it as a place where everyone is satisfied and together, and Dean sees Baby and switches on the radio and hears, “Carry On Wayward Son,” I was a puddle.

My own personal conception of heaven, as my human brain can fathom the perfection of existence as united with God (what I theologically and philosophically conceive of heaven as, though that’s a little heavy for a blog post about the show where the pretty boys fight monsters.) is a place of comfort and joy where everyone is satisfied and together. My version is actually the bar that my Uncles used to own, settled on a corner bar stool. “Carry On Wayward Son” would probably still be in the mix in my version, to be honest, though it would be coming from the juke box, not a car stereo.

I was wrecked, and it just highlighted what it is about Supernatural that connected with me in a way that even the other nerd homework projects that I enjoyed never really did. This is a show about family, and faith and finding comfort in those things while the world around you spins in chaos. It’s about two brothers who love each other, and the people that come to love them.

And it is about pretty boys who hunt monsters and fight God, and love angels, and drink beer and eat pie and it’s about how Dean Winchester is a hero even if, and especially because, he’ll never admit it to himself. That loving his brother, his angel boyfriend and their adopted son was enough. (Misha and Jensen can “it’s platonic love,” all they want WE KNOW THE TRUTH.) And more than that, that he was loved, and appreciated. Every sacrifice mattered. It saved the world and remade heaven and hell. And those sacrifices were not for his anger or desire for vengeance but for love, and that is not a final theme I’m ever going to get sick of.

Now your life’s no longer empty

Surely heaven waits for you.

The 007 Project: For Your Eyes Only

Previously On The 007 Project: I was getting tired of Roger Moore and his campy shenanigans. Also, in the real world there was an attempted violent coup against the government of the country where I live and I felt a little bit, uh, overwhelmed. Also, I now have two day jobs, so…:I needed a few weeks off to adjust. But I’m back now. I’ve got three movies watched and posts banked. Let’s get started!

Who’s Our Bond?

We’re still in Roger Moore land. He’s better here than in Moonraker because this is a better movie than Moonraker. James Bond doesn’t belong in space. His sarcastic charm works well in this one.

What’s The Plot?

Guys this is like the Stefan sketch of Bond movies. “It has everything! Thrilling car and boat chases, a crazed assassin out for James Bond, a Greek heiress bent of revenge, horny teenage figure skaters, Moneypenny’s weird file cabinet mirror!”

Bond first, after visiting Tracy’s grave, is summoned to a helicopter, which it turns out is a trap, from, I assume Blofeld. It’s a bald guy who’s face we don’t see. I miss Blofeld so much, you guys. Anyway, after crashing the helicopter, we get the them and then Bond is called in to see M, who gives him his mission, an archeologist is searching for a bomb in the ocean, or something, whatever, not the point. The point is, the guy was assassinated, and they need to question the guy who did it. So Bond goes to a compound and find the guy, who is then gunned down by, GASP the archeologists daughter, out for revenge.

She assures Bond that if they can find the guy who PAID the assasin, they’ll find the truth about her father’s work. Also, she really really wants revenge. Anyway, they go to Greece and they do some chases and they scuba dive, and there’s also an alpine ski chase at one point, because this whole movie is basically a greatest hits montage.

Eventually, Bond and Melina (Said vengeful daughter) head to a compound to find the real killer and find the information her father was looking for. (I missed some of the particulars, I was distracted by Melina’s cross bow) and the general quality of the flick.

Anyway, after they win they have sex on a boat. And Bond gets a call from Maggie Thatcher which is hilarious.

Tell Me About The Girl

Carole Bouquet plays Melina, who goes around trying to track down the lowlifes who killed her family and murdering them with a crossbow, so she’s basically Helena Bertinelli and I am A OK with that. She’s also immediately into Bond which is fun.

While tracking down information in Switzerland, Bond also encounted Bibi Dahl, an American figure skater who is super horny and definitely wants him. She’s also clearly a teenager and he turns her down. How very evolved of him. She’s played by Linn-Holly Johnson and she’s super annoying.

The final of the three ladies in this one is Countess Lisl Von Styth who is not actually a countess but a normal British girl disguising herself as one. She’s great. I enjoyed her, she’s the one who has sex with Bond and then dies, which we haven’t seen in a few films!

The Song is The Thing

I enjoyed the song, “For Your Eyes Only” performed by Sheena Easton. Bond Themes have moved into the 80s now and it’s very obvious. But this one is at least fun.

Overall Thoughts

I was happy to see the back to basics of this one, I enjoyed Melina and Moore seemed a better dialed in. But in a lot of ways it reminded me of Spectre which I described as, “sure is a Bond movie” it checks all the boxes but doesn’t really do any of the stuff it’s doing spectacularly.

Next week we get into the terribly named but actually awesome Octopussy.

The 007 Project: Moonraker

I took The Holidays off from blogging. I’m back in the new year! Usually I dive into the new year with a fun new concept. This year, alas no. I’m starting new work in the next few weeks and I don’t know how much time I’m going to have so I don’t want to commit to anything. We’ll keep going with the Bond stuff though.

Previously On The 007 Project: While I am still charmed by Roger Moore, but I think the shine may be coming off soon. I also reiterate my enjoyment of Bond being in Hitchcock style romantic films.

Who’s Our Bond: Still Roger Moore. He’s starting to show his age and his boredom. I really think he brought it for The Spy Who Loved Me, but this is back to coasting. At least, fucking Sherriff JW Peppah doesn’t show up this time. I’ve discovered that the extended comedic chase scene is the thing I like the least about Moore’s tenure.

What’s The Plot?

The RAF and NASA have lost a rocket! OH NO! Only James Bond can find it. It turns out that the rocket, The Moonraker was stolen by the sinister aerospace billionair Drax, who also hired Jaws to fight Bond. Bond is aided in his search for the rock by Dr. Holly Goodhead. (SIGH) Drax wants to start life over on the moon, with himself as the sire of a master race. (COOL) Doctor Goodhead and Bond get shot into space, and they defeat Drax and that’s kind of it. (I actually got really bored watching this movie so I didn’t pay super close attention).

I’m Addressing The Problematic

I didn’t notice anything, but as I said, I was pretty bored and not paying close attention.

Tell Me About The Girl

Lois Chile plays Holly Goodhead, and, LORD that name makes me want to gouge my eyes out, but at least she’s a Doctor and she thinks Bond sucks (you know, until she doesn’t)

The Song Is The Thing

Shirley Bassey is back! Hooray! The song is not as good as “Goldfinger” (nothing is), but it’s servicable. There’s something about Bassey’s throaty belting that feels like James Bond.

Overall Thoughts

Oof, this one was rough. I kept meaning to rewatch it so that I would have more to say, but I couldn’t bring myself to. That’s why this is short. I’m going to return to the Wednesday posting here in two days, when I watch For Your Eyes Only. (RIP Tanya Roberts)