Was there a winner last night? I mean besides, me giggling like an idiot while I watched Emilia Clarke and Kit Harrington have actually, hot as fire chemistry with one another?
I think so. And I think it’s someone you might not expect.
Or you might.
Jorah Mormont won last night.
Jorah doesn’t have greyscale anymore, because Sam is a boss! He gets to go back to Dany and our Ser Mopey Bear (last week I called him “Mr. Mopey Bear” but I feel the need to ammend it to give include his title, he’s anointed and all…) can’t get a better win that that.
Runners up are Bran and Sansa, and SHUT UP, you’re the one who’s crying.
Missandei And Grey Worm Watch
They are parted, but both doing things, Grey Worm takes Casterly Rock, which isn’t hard, because it turns out Jaime is not a moron, but still, good for him. Missandei meanwhile is announcing Danery’s million and a half names, while Davos introduces Jon Snow, but we’ll get to that.
In other shipping news: Hey, Dany and Jon and the crackling chemisty. Also Euron and Cersie, seriously, guys, I’m into it. I know it’s gross and weird and they’re both awful and obviously I don’t want them to win, but I kind of do? It’s confusing.
Sansa’s Agency Watch
Sansa is doing a very good job ruling Winterfell and ignoring Baelish, and WHY IS HE STILL THERE? She also has a nice chat with Bran and you can tell she is like 1000% done with her brothers and all of their mystical hoo ha. Also, way to bring up her goddamn terrible wedding night, Bran! (I’m still not unconvinced she’s pregnant!) Oh, and Tyrion asks about her to Jon, who’s all “let’s not talk about my sister who you’re still technically married to I guess, but she was like 13, and thanks for not having sex with her I guess?”
Arya’s Badass Watch
No Arya this week.
Bran Stark’s Excellent Adventure
He’s back at Winterfell and tries to explain the whole three eyed raven thing to Sansa, who again, is OVER IT. Perhaps bringing up something other than the most traumatic thing to happen to her over years of compacted trauma was not the way to go? I don’t know, but the scene where they hug is amazing. And I’m crying again.
You guys, Jon actually said the words, “I’m not a Stark,” tonight. IT’S WORKING. Oh, also he and Dany are hot together. The scene where they first meet is awesome, and why exactly he doesn’t want to tell her about his magical ressurection, I’m not sure of, but whatever, she’s curious, when Davos says that Jon took a knife in his heart, it’s not a figure of speech, it’s literal. He’s very focused, and hey! He gets his Dragonglass, and seriously, how long do you think it is that he’ll be on Dragonstone and how long until he rides a dragon. (Rhaegel, probably, seriously, he should be riding the dragon named after his father.)
Sam Is A Ravenclaw (Or Possibly A Hufflepuff)
Sam is not in trouble for illegally curing Jorah’s greyscale. He also is not hailed as a hero for it. This is probably because Sam is not a Gryffindor, and only Gryffindors get rewarded for breaking rules and it working out best for everyone. (Happy Birthday Harry!)
How Long Til Jaime Snaps?
While I will never forgive him for killing Olenna, wow, does he seem close to the edge these days. Or he’s gone full dark with Cersei, but I think he’s wavering. And Olenna is always right, and she thinks he’s going to lose it. Plus he knows that Olenna killed Joffrey, which he has pushed his brother away for and WOW, is that a problem for Jaime’s confirmation bias.
Ellaria and Tyene (meh) and Olenna (Actually I’m very sad.) Yara, for the moment appears to be alive.
Varys Talks About Stuff
This time he and Melisandre have a chat about gaining and losing power. She says she’s going back to Volantis, but then also says she’s going to die in Westeros. And she admits she made mistakes (YES BURNING SHIREEN TO DEATH WAS A HUGE FUCKING MISTAKE MELISANDRE) but that she’s played her ultimate role, bringing ice and fire together. Now they need to pull their collective heads out of their butts and GET IT TOGETHER ALREADY.
Sorry about the lasteness of this post. I was at Classic East this weekend, and it was amazing, but I couldn’t watch the episode until I got home from work.