Skews younger…with juries and such

So, Arrested Development is back on Netflix. This is exciting for many reasons, not the least of which is getting to see Alia Shawkat in stuff again. (Loved her since State of Grace )

But this seems as good a time as any to get in to one of my weirder obsessions, which I’ve hinted at occasionally in the past.

It’s time to talk about Scott Baio.

Sometimes the early teen heart wants what it wants

Sometimes the early teen heart just wants what it wants

Now, if you are unfamiliar with Mr. Baio’s work, I’d like to know what in the hell you did with your childhood, because you were clearly not watching Happy Days reruns and that makes me sad for you.

Anyway, on Happy Days, he played Chachi, who was the young and slightly less smooth cousin of Fonzie.

If you don’t know who Fonzie is you should probably just jump off of a bridge.

Anyway, I loved him. Not in a, “this is an amusing character way,” I actually loved him. In a creepy fangirl download pictures and have bizarre fantasies about him way. This lasted until I was about fourteen. Of course by then Charles in Charge had moved to Nick at Nite, and it was hard to escape. It was a fun little joke for a while, and everyone in my life sort of let it go.

Katie still brings it up from time to time, but only because we bonded over it when we first met. (Her thing was for Ron Howard…)

But regardless it was one of those “there’s a little truth to every just kidding” situations. I did, and still kind of do, find the young Scott Baio very attractive. Despite the hair…or possibly because of it. Whatever.

Then when I was in college along came Arrested Development…I mean, it was already off the air for a few years when I watched it, but I loved the whole “Bob Loblaw” bit. Baio was playing the Bluth family’s new lawyer, an ambulance chaser named Bob Loblaw, replacing their old lawyer, Barry Zuckercorn, played by Henry Winkler.

If you don’t know who Henry Winkler is, please go climb back under your rock now, and watch some Happy Days reruns. Seriously.

This is him. He's the Fonz.

This is him. He’s the Fonz.


I also loved the line to clearly remind people of who they were, “This is not the first time I’ve replaced Barry Zuckercorn. I can do everything he can do, and skew younger. With juries and such.”

Either way, how exciting was it when in Episode 4 of the new Netflix season when Bob Loblaw was defending Barry Zuckercorn, and Barry actually shouted “Chachi!” at one point?

No? That was just me who was excited about that, then.

Keep on Trekking…

Into Darkness Poster

I went in to see Star Trek: Into Darkness literally forty five minutes after watching Star Trek for the first time in years. I’ve mentioned before that I’m not a huge Star Trek fan. I’ve seen a few episodes of the original series here and there, and I’ve seen the original Star Trek movie as well as Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan. Generally, when I watch Star Trek,  I feel like I’ve been lectured at about race relations and I can’t take it seriously because I had to watch some beautiful woman try her hardest to pretend that she was actually attracted to William Shatner.

Largely, I usually feel like I wasted my time and not in the good way, like, “I wasted two hours having a lot of fun and it was awesome,” but more like, “Huh, well, that was two hours that I could have been sleeping or DOING JUST ABOUT ANYTHING BUT WATCHING STAR TREK.” Even with this attitude, I really liked Star Trek (2009). I watched it again this morning and still really liked it. I was even pleasantly surprised, because I forgot the Chris Hemsworth plays George Kirk and getting to see Chris Hemsworth do anything, even for just a few minutes makes the world brighter…


The new Star Trek universe has two things really going for it:

1. A clean slate, I’m pretty DC’s whole “New 52” initiative came from this same idea that J.J. Abram’s decision to take the characters and situations that people love, blow up their past adventures and move on, with all new ones. DC screwed it up, and from a lot people’s perspectives, it seems Abrams did too. I’m not so sure. I thought that Star Trek was a gamble, and I’m thinking that Into Darkness is just continuing the game. We’re still waiting for the payoff.

2. It’s cast. The flaws of these movies are huge. They’re far from perfect. They have large gaping plot holes, an inability to let go of the past, and overly manic directing style. But the shiny new Star Trek cast is wonderful. Chris Pine is wonderful. Zoe Saldana is amazing. Karl Urban is fantastic. John Cho and Anton Yelchin are great. Simon Pegg is one of the greatest gifts ever given to cinema. If I were to try to explain Zachary Quinto in one word, it would be “Wow!” I love this cast individually, and they’re just wonderful together.

Added to the mix this time around was Benedict Cumberpatch at Khan. I love me some BBC stars, even though I don’t understand the fanatical devotion to Sherlock, and I think he’s a very good actor. I was excited to see him take on this iconic villain.

Into Darkness had all of the elements of a great movie, but it didn’t quite land, stranding it as merely good. We open with a traditional Star Trek scene, Kirk and McCoy are running through a jungle trying to keep from violating The Prime Directive. (Which is then laid out by Spock for Trek newbies. I did know what The Prime Directive was, I’m not that clueless.) Of course, this is Chris Pine’s trigger happy version of Captain Kirk, and violate the directive he does, flamboyantly and spectacularly so. Spock reports him, which kind of ticks him off, since during the mission Kirk saved the Vulcan’s life.

Kirk is then busted down from Captain to Commander, and The Enterprise’s command is handed back to Admiral Christopher Pike. Bruce Greenwood’s performance as Pike is also great, as it was in the first movie. He once again pulls Kirk back from the edge in a bar. Spock is transferred to a different ship.

Meanwhile, in London, Sherlock Holmes tells Mickey Smith that he can heal his daughter…sorry, that was my CSD acting up. But the Starfleet analyst that “John Harrison” (Khan) is blackmailing was played by Noel Clark, who played poor put upon Mickey Smith back in the early days of the Doctor Who reboot. I always loved and pitied poor Mickey, who was left behind over and over again. Anyway,  in exchange, the analyst blows up a Starfleet archive which puts the Federation into emergency mode, which begins with a meeting of Starship captains and first officers. I bet you can guess how that ends.

They get blown up. Pike dies. Kirk and Spock are sad. Kirk becomes Captain again. All is as it should be. Except, Kirk requests to be sent after Harrison, (who, need I remind you is not actually that guy, but Khan.) and Old Guy Who Is Clearly Not To Be Trusted (Admiral Marcus), says, “yeah, go for that, and take these new experimental torpedoes to kill him with.” Kirk, being Shiny New Trigger Happy Kirk, who’s mentor just got blown up, is all, “Okey Dokey.” When Spock and Scotty point out that this smells fishy, he just gets indignant and Scotty quits. Luckily, Uhura and Spock (who are a couple in this universe don’t forget) are currently in the middle of a lover’s spat, so she sides with Kirk, basically out of spite and maybe a little bit out of residual sexual tension between Saldana and Pine.

They capture Harrison (KHAN!) and put him in a nice clear prison cell just like Nick Fury did to Loki in The Avengers. Then Khan, Kirk and Spock chat for a while and we find out that he’s Khan. (Duh) There are a few more plot twists involving the introduction of Carol Marcus, who Kirk clearly wishes to bone. (He later “welcomes her to the family” and it’s severely creepy) And they wind up finding out that Admiral Marcus is a bad dude, they get Scotty back, and he Kirk and Khan raid Marcus’s ship. Spock calls New Vulcan to talk to Spock Prime about Khan. Prime says he vowed to not interfere with the new timeline, and that Spock Two has to make his own mistakes. But of course, he then tells them not to trust Khan, he is very dangerous. When Two asks Prime how they defeated Khan, Prime’s response is that it was with a great cost. That cost, of course, was Spock Prime’s life.

While I was psyched to see Leonard Nimoy (I mean, really, why wouldn’t anyone be? The man is great!) this was to me a major instance of the movie being too self aware. Like I said, one of the great things that this series has going for it is a clean slate. Having Spock Prime in the first movie was a respectful nod to fans, and helped establish a new clean time line. But if they’re going to haul him out for subsequent adventures, just to give advice to Spock Two it cheapens the idea.

They beat Khan and this time it is Kirk that pays with his life, not Spock. I liked this twist, because it unleashed Spock’s full on wrath. Zachary Quinto does angry, very very well. Also, seeing him do the full on long scream, “KHAAAAAAAANNNNNN!” was way more fulfilling than anything Pine could have done. This is not a criticism of Chris Pine, who is really great at playing Captain Kirk, I just feel like Quinto is better at everything than most people.

Thankfully, due to a MGuffin of Khan’s blood having regenerative properties, (discovered by McCoy when he injects it into a dead tribble…another cute but unnecessary Trekkie nod.) we will be spared Star Trek III: The Search for Kirk, because they just revive the dead Captain. It’s a nice scene when he and Spock make up, and we flash forward to a year later, and The Enterprise crew gets their 5 year long commission to go “where no one has gone before.” (I hate changing gender pronouns for no reason, by the way. It’s pandering and insulting.)

Overall, I enjoyed the movie. Like I said, I love this cast. I think they’re great. Urban took a bit of a back seat this time around to give Pegg the shining number 3 spot. (1 and 2 belong to Pine and Quinto, as it should be). He delivers possibly the greatest line ever, “Well, if it isn’t Captain James T. McPerfect Hair!” Saldana  steals a couple of great scenes and seeing her speak Klingon was a lot of fun. Cho and Yelchin are both so perfectly suited to playing Sulu and Chekov respectively I have trouble even analyzing what they do, and just sit back and enjoy watching them. Cumberpatch was good, if not great in his quiet intensity.

Visually the movie is a huge improvement on it’s predecessor. The lens flares are still there but much more muted, Kronos, the Klingon homeworld is a rotting bit of beauty and The Enterprise herself looks great.

Like I said, the elements were all there, the movie just didn’t gel. And it’s way too long. I don’t care how good it is, almost two and half hours of people flying around in a spaceship is too long. But I give it like a 7/10.


My God is the Anchorman 2 teaser brilliant. It’s so brilliant.

Elysium will probably be the best movie of the past five years and no one will talk about it after the first few months. Just like District 9.

I don’t know why I didn’t realize that Kevin Costner was playing Jonathan Kent in Man of Steel, but that makes me way too happy. I hope there’s a scene where he and Clark play catch. Anyway, the new trailer was so good I actually found myself crying. I’m yoyoing so hard on my expectations for this movie that I’m going to get whiplash, but right now I am firmly in the “excited” place.

Despicable Me 2 will be the best movie of the summer and again, no one will talk about it. It will be unfortunately overlooked because it’s “a family movie.” This makes me sad.

So far these are my summer movie season standings:

1. The Great Gatsby (with a bullet)

2. Iron Man 3

3. Star Trek Into Darkness

Next week we get Now You See It and After Earth. I haven’t decided which I want to see first. I really want to see Now You See It, but I’m also really excited that Will Smith is teaching his son how to fight aliens…


It’s been a year since I started. I’m pretty happy with how this all has gone, but there are some people I really need to thank:

My family, who share a house with me and sometimes listen to me babble on for long strands about topics they care nothing about in order to work out ideas. All 4 of you are amazing and I love you endlessly. Especially Mom, who has admitted to not reading, but always likes every facebook post, so that it shows up on her friend’s newsfeeds.

My friends, but in a very special way Chrissy, Katherine and John. You guys are endlessly funny, and I know you’ve probably recognized your words and conversations in these posts.  Also, I’m sorry for internet outing you Chrissy, and thanks for forgiving me! I’ll miss you so much when you leave the Garden State this summer, but there will have to be many road trips. And Katherine, when you introduce me to your writer, actor and director friends as “My friend Reenie, she’s a writer too!” it always makes my night. So please keep doing that. And I’ll keep the faith alive that someone will give Sophia Bush a role worthy of her. Also, I’ll introduce you to my friends as a director, because you are and you’re kick ass at it! John, I’ll try to not call you a sexist again, but I’m not making any promises. And I promise to not be too effusive in my praise of Man of Steel, because I’m probably going to love it, and you’re probably going to hate it, and we’re going to have to deal with that.

My coworkers & bosses at the hotel. I don’t know if any of you guys read this, but if you do, you basically saved my sanity these past six months. I felt on the edge about to lose it before you came in to my life. Especially my boss. Seriously, if you hadn’t hired me, I don’t know what exactly I would have done, and I’m really glad I’ll never have to find out.

Thanks to Daniel O’Brien, everyone who is at all involved in The Marvel Cinematic Universe, Paul Dini, Bruce Timm and everyone else who made the DCAU, Joss Whedon and the Nolan brothers for giving me so much amazing stuff to write about in the past year. And DOB, I’m still single…just throwing it out there.

And finally, a big thank you to YOU, all you who are reading, and commenting and liking. Thanks for hitting the follow button.

One of these days I am going to finish watching Buffy. I really, really will.

But for now, just thanks, and we’re headed in to a new year. We’ve got a new season of Arrested Development, an amazing movie season which includes the movie of City of Bones (we will have so much fun untangling the crazy web that is The Mortal Instruments…)Game of Thrones to finish, The Newsroom to begin, the Doctor Who 50th anniversary (The return of David Tennant! SQUEE!) and a new Thor movie to discuss. It’s going to be a good one!

I will return

Thor The Dark World

I’ve been thinking as more details about Thor: The Dark World come in to focus, that it is becoming abundantly clear that this movie will be the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s first attempt at a love triangle, in the form of Sif/Thor/Jane Foster. I mean, it’s the first if you don’t count Pepper/Tony/Tony’s Ego (I sort of half count it.)

I’m excited for this development for a couple of reasons, not the least of which is that I love love triangles. I just adore them. Bring on your Dawson/Joey/Pacey, your Jack/Kate/Sawyer, your Brandon/Kelly/Dylan, your Kelly/Dylan/Brenda. I want your Edward/Bella/Jacob, your Ron/Hermione/Viktor Krum, your Lancelot/Guinevere/Arthur, your Galinda/Fiyero/Elphaba. I want them all. I thirst for love triangles and drink deeply from them analyzing the good and bad aspects of each relationship, as if I were choosing a college I, in fact, probably put more thought in to deciding if I was Team Jack or Team Sawyer than I did into choosing a college. For the record I am actually Team Sawyer/Juliet. Kate can suck it.

“Well, I understand that Edward is her soulmate, but Jacob is alive and her dad loves him!”

“Sure, Dylan had a vision quest where he saw that he and Kelly were married in a past life and that’s great, but Brandon actually bought her an engagement ring and hid it in roller blades and that’s adorable!”

I have these conversations, sometimes with friends, usually with myself.

But I’m particularly excited about this one because of the characters involved. Obviously, I don’t love the character of Jane Foster. I mean, she’s fine. I just really hate Natalie Portman.

I don't care how many Oscars she wins. She can't erase these "love" scenes

I don’t care how many Oscars she wins. She can’t erase these “love” scenes

But I appreciate that all three characters, Sif, Thor and Jane are all autonomous individuals with their own personal goals and motivations outside of their love story. Sif has her service as a soldier to Asgard. Thor has his whole quest to protect the nine realms thing. Jane is a scientist, she has her research. No one’s world is going to fall apart because their romantic desires are unfulfilled and that’s a cool and very different way to go in to a love triangle.

So, kudos, MCU, for doing that. You get a big old feminist high five from me for this one.

Now, if you could follow this up with Cap/Black Widow/Hawkeye in The Avengers 2, I will be one seriously happy lady.

Just saying.

Of The USS Enterprise and Old Friends

Going in to college I definitely had a little bit of the nerd thing going on. Mostly concentrated on my love of musical theatre and the bizarre Mighty Ducks fanfiction thing, but extending into the mainstream nerd-fests of Harry Potter and Lord of The Rings, and obviously Batman.

But I was deeply closeted. Like a midwestern Baptist gay kid on a Ryan Murphy show, I was about to discover my true self. Because for the first time in my life I was spending my time around other nerds almost exclusively.

Because generally speaking, “cool kids” don’t attend small liberal arts colleges in North Eastern Pennsylvania and join the choir and student theater group and the yearbook. Do you know who does do those things? Nerds.

But it was mostly because of Jen.

Jen was my freshman year roommate. Jen owned her nerdiness in a way that completely awed me. She didn’t scribble fanfiction in her journal in the middle of the night and hope no one found out. She just laughed when I finally admitted to it and talked about playing Redwall RPG’s. Jen didn’t silently thank the TV powers that be that The West Wing ended our senior year of high school because then she didn’t have to admit to her new college friends that she loved it. No, Jen owned and displayed her West Wing box sets proudly. (Only the first 3 seasons, anything post Sorkin was not worth her time or attention.)

Jen and I sat around late at night talking about C.S. Lewis or Arthur Conan Doyle. We watched Futurama reruns and introduced some of our favorite things to each other. (Jen to Me: Quantum Leap, Me to Jen: Kevin Smith and Orlando.)

Pictured: Me feeding Jen to Jaws at Universal Orlando. The girl looking away is our other friend, Jenna.

Pictured: Me feeding Jen to Jaws at Universal Orlando. The girl looking away is our other friend, Jenna.

Then, one night, we watched a Star Trek marathon on TV Land. I’d never watched Star Trek before. Basically, everything I knew about it was from Futurama. One of the episodes that I clearly remember, was the episode “Mirror, Mirror.”  In this episode Captain Kirk travels to an alternate universe where everyone is evil, except Spock, who is Spock with a beard.

I don’t know. It made an impact, because I thought it was pretty stupid but still gave a crap. Also, I understood the premise as it was the same as Bizarro world from Superman. Anyway, with the switch of Good Kirk and Evil Kirk, of course Good Kirk had to have sex with someone, a character that Jen and I still refer to, to this day as “Bizarro Space Whore.” I wasn’t hooked on Star Trek. I still didn’t love the show. It was too slow, too cheesy, I came to it too late in life. But I understood now, I got why people did love it. And I found my own things to love.

When the first J.J. Abrams Star Trek movie came out, we were both wary. Jen because she loved Star Trek and me because I didn’t, but loved Lost.

We went to go see it multiple times the weekend it came out. We loved it. It had it’s problems, but we loved when Kirk found Old Spock on Hoth (I mean, that other Ice Planet, that was totally not Hoth.) we loved Karl Urban as Bones, we loved Anton Yelchin as Chekov.

With Star Trek: Into Darkness coming out next week I was just thinking about Jen, and how lucky I was to have someone who was so at home with herself and didn’t care if I was just myself. She’s a great friend and I miss her very much.

Live Long and Prosper, Jennifer. I’ll always think of you when I notice a red shirt. And of course I’ll be thinking of you next weekend when I go to see Into Darkness.

Borne Ceaselessly Into The Past

I just got home from seeing The Great Gatsby with my mom tonight. This was a big deal because I was going to go alone today regardless, and my mom goes to the movies maybe once a year. Seriously, it’s a big deal.

Charleston! Glitter! Dense symbolism about the American Dream!

Charleston! Glitter! Dense symbolism about the American Dream!

Anyway, I really enjoyed the adaptation. Once you get past the Baz Luhrman of it all, (I’m a huge fan. I even like Australia.) The Great Gatsby is a remarkable film and an incredible adaptation. Not a surprise, Baz nailed every inch of Gatsby’s symbolism. This story is more of a parable than anything else. With Nick as The American People, we see Jay Gatsby as The American Ideal, Daisy Buchanan as The American Dream, and Tom Buchanan as The Establishment. This is all abundantly clear in Baz’s interpretation of Fitzgerald’s story.

F. Scott Fitzgerald is one of my favorite writers. I love him, his life and his work. When I read his short stories my senior year of college I literally sat on my bed gasping. His work is mesmerizing. Except The Beautiful and The Damned. Skip that shit if you can, because I was bored out of my mind trying to read it.

Anyway, like any good lit nerd, I fantasize about hanging out in Paris in the 20’s with Scott and Ernest Hemingway and Cole Porter. Drinking and going to parties and feeling existentially disconnected.

No one articulated that disconnect better that Fitzgerald. And he never did it better than he did in Gatsby. Anyway, back to the parable.

By the time that Nick (The American People, unassuming, willing to work and open) encounters Gatsby (The American Ideal, self made, disciplined and wide eyed) he has already been corrupted by the yearning for Daisy (The American Dream, money, prestige and legacy) who has hitched her wagon to Tom (The Establishment, which is self explanatory.) No matter how hard Gatsby tries, he can never quite reach Daisy, she is chained by her own mind and the way the world works to Tom. But as The Ideal, Gatsby can’t let go of Daisy, The Dream. He says it himself, “I knew it was dangerous for a man like me to fall in love.” He was going to focus on his dream until the end.

I got a few of my wishes when it came to this movie. We have a clearer picture of Gatsby, he truly is a caricature of himself. He’s formed his entire life to the ideal, that’s the most important thing. Gaining Daisy is no different to him than the money, the parties or the house. She’s the cherry on top of his sundae. This is proved when she offers at several times to run away with him. When she says, “You ask too much,” she means it.

Additionally, my big problem with previous adaptations has been the shift of focus from Nick. Baz’s Gatsby is very much about Nick. Without spoiling film specifics, he uses a rather ingenious framing device that I didn’t completely love, but totally understood, in order to do so. Tobey Maguire is relate-able and holds your attention, which is basically the point of a narrator, specifically of Nick, who’s an everyman. In fact all of the performances are spot on. Leonardo DiCaprio, who I have never seen give what one can call a “bad” performance was exceptional. Joel Edgerton scowled and bullied his way through Tom Buchanan beautifully. Isla Fisher is remarkable as poor doomed Myrtle Wilson. I loved Elizabeth Debicki as Jordan Baker (a character I’ve always loved, for her sarcasm and complete disdain for those around her.) But Carey Mulligan is truly amazing.

I loved Mulligan in An Education, and of course her turn as Sally Sparrow in “Blink” the most frightening episode of Doctor Who ever is completely legendary. But she is Daisy, which is amazing, since as I’ve said before, Daisy isn’t so much a person, as an image. To Gatsby, she is the image of his dream. To Nick, she is the image of goodness corrupted. To Tom she is the image of his dominance. To Fitzgerald, she was the image of everything he could never touch.(Scott considered Nick the man he was, and Gatsby the man he wished he could be. It’s so sad that this man died believing the world thought he was a hack.) But Mulligan makes you care about her, as if she were an actual human being. A feat that Mia Farrow, as much as I love her, was not able to pull off.

Overall, it’s a very good adaptation, and whether Baz’s vision will hold up in a few years is going to be worth seeing. It was less manic than his previous work. Compared to Moulin Rouge! it was downright slow, but in the hyper Baz energy, you missed some of the languid pained summer heat silences that are described in the book.

But overall I enjoyed it.

Trailers: I was shocked that this Warner Brothers released movie had no Man of Steel trailer. I’m still really excited for Star Trek: Into Darkness, even though there was nothing new there. August: Osage County looks like a great excuse for Ewan McGregor to use another southern accent, so there’s that.

Goodbye, Norma Jean: A Requiem for Smash

I rarely complain about shows I love getting the axe early. Honestly, I get it, TV is a complicated game, and I have weird taste.

And it seems to be, you lived your life, like a candle in the wind...

And it seems to be, you lived your life, like a candle in the wind…

But I’m super sad that Smash isn’t getting a third season. Not because it actually deserves one. Let’s be real here for a minute. Smash is a ridiculous show that has an audience appeal of like 6 people, 4 of whom are related to me. But I’m so sad that we’ll never get to see some of the amazing storylines that could have come in the future. Here are some of them:

Tony Night! Bombshell wins Best Musical, Julia and Tom win the writing awards and in touching speeches dedicate their wins to Kyle’s memory. Jimmy uses this rejection as an excuse to go on a bender and say mean things to Karen, who immediately forgives him. Meanwhile, Karen wins Best Actress for Hit List and Lee wins Best Featured. A Tony-less Ivy gets drunk and hits on Jimmy to make Derek pay attention to her again. Special Guest Appearance by Neil Patrick Harris, because it’s the Tonys, and he would be hosting.

Anything involving Derek’s gay father who we heard mentioned once and then never again.

Michael Swift returns to play Jay Gatsby in Julia’s new play and she has an existential crisis about it and treats Tom like crap in recompense, even though he had nothing to do with it.

Tom and Sam get married and adopt a daughter who they name Julia Ivy. They hire Ellis to be her nanny, because no one on this show ever learns anything. He tries to kill her with peanuts as revenge for some imagined slight. Ivy hallucinates that her little name sake is scheming against her and Sam and Tom just pat her on the head and tell her she’s pretty.

The night before his wedding to Ivy, Derek shows up drunk at Karen and Jimmy’s shared loft. Karen kicks him out but Ivy calls off the wedding when she finds out because any mention of Karen causes her to have a nervous breakdown. They wind up getting married anyway, because Jimmy has a heart to heart with her, about accepting the inevitable stupidness that is Karen and Derek.

Season long plot line of Bombshell the movie. Karen, having become a recording sensation after the whole Hit List thing, is cast as Marilyn. Ivy, no surprise, has a nervous breakdown. Tom and Julia clash with the screen writer, played by special guest star Anthony Rapp, and Derek gets the job as director, which as he and Ivy are now married, doesn’t help her nervous breakdown. Tom and Julia eventually collaborate with the screen writer to write an awesome original song, that wins the Oscar. Derek also wins. Karen does not. Ivy is vindicated, especially when in his Oscar speech Derek says, “I would absolutely never have been able to do this, none of us would without the amazing determination and vision of Ivy Lynne.”

Series finale should be a time jump to the closing of Bombshell, which includes an encore of Karen and Ivy onstage after the curtain call singing “Let Me Be Your Star.” (Do you have chills? Because I got them while I was typing it.)

I have clearly been thinking about this a lot. Although for some reason, none of my imagined story lines have much to do with Eileen. I love her, really, I do, but I kind of just want to her to drink martinis and call everyone a genius all the time.

Anyway, I will miss you Smash. I will miss getting drunk and live tweeting to you. I will miss Derek’s musical hallucinations. I will miss everything about Miss Ivy Lynne. I will miss “The Magical Karen Cartwright.” I will miss getting “History is Made At Night” stuck in my head. (I probably won’t miss this actually, because I still have the Bombshell “Cast Album” on my I-Pod…) I’ll miss seeing Christian Borle perform once a week. I’ll miss the Marilyn drag, and I’ll miss the cast of Rent popping up where you least expect them.

Alas, though, you’re gone Smash. So, I will now have to dedicate my obsessive nerd energy towards, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Which, looks amazing, incidentally.