Game Of Thrones Winner: “The Long Night”

What’s been nice this year, is that there are very clear winners. I mean super clear.

This week’s winner is Arya Stark.

She killed the Night King, to save her brother. It was amazing. And this was after she survived the Westerosi version of the kitchen scene from Jurrasic Park. (This is not a criticism btw. I’m a big big fan of that scene, and think it’s a great suspense build, so copying it isn’t the worst thing you can do), and then having a chat with Melisandre, and remembering what we say to the God of Death. (I can do this all day? Sorry you guys, I’m in the fog of where my obsession is the hammer where every criticism looks like an Avengers themed nail.)

So Congrats Arya Stark. You are definitely the best Stark this week. (I mean, it wasn’t sacrificing your happy ending to save the universe. But it was good.) (Guys, I’m totally fine.)

Runner Up was Theon. To quote my sister, “he took NAMES in the Godswood.”

Sansa Agency Watch

Uh, she hid in crypt. But she also killed some zombies, and Tyrion kissed her. Look of her two terrible dysfunctional marriages, Tyrion is definitely the keeper. Which, even he admitted is kind of sad.

Arya Badass Watch

Arya killed the Night King. Hooray!

Bran Stark’s Excellent Adventure

Warged into some crows, got the Night King into Winterfell, this was all fine. I’m just kinda over Bran.

#NotAStark #NotABastard

Did, did Jon, do anything this episode besides get a dragon killed? I don’t think he did. Anyway, Jon got a dragon killed. Way to totally SUCK Jon. (You want to know who didn’t get a dragon killed? Steve Mother Fucking Rogers that’s who! He is worthy and wielded Mjolnir. Have you ever wielded Mjolnir Jon Goddamned Snow?) (Turns out the dragon didn’t die? But Jon was still sucky this week. I stand by that.)

Sam Is A Ravenclaw

Sam did a lot of running around looking panicked.

Who died?

Jorah, Theon, a bunch of Dorthraki, Beric, Lyanna Mormont (went out like a boss though!). But let’s talk about Jorah for a minute here, who’s death did get me. Mostly Dany weeping over his body, but the fact that he died for Dany was incredibly powerful. It was how he always had to end.

On A Scale Of Aragorn’s Speech Before The Gates Of Mordor To Sansa Being Raped While Theon Watches How LOTR Was This Episode?

It was like if The Battle At Helm’s Deep was fought right after The Battle Of The Blackwater. So like not super LOTR no.

 

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Part Of The Journey Is The End

There was an idea…called The Avengers Initiative. The idea was to bring together a group of remarkable people, see if they could become something more. See if they could work together when we needed them to fight the battles we never could. – Nick Fury The Avengers

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The MCU is in incredible piece of pop art. Unlike anything that came before it, and unlikely to ever be duplicated. (Many have tried and failed.) The brainchild of a genius producer, ushered in by some talented directors and held together for good or ill, by the charisma of that group of remarkable people.

Avengers: Endgame is the payoff. When Avengers: Infinity war ended, with Thanos “watching the sun rise over a grateful universe.” (Universe is actually less than grateful but he’s nuts.) breath was held and we waited. How would our team, our guys, all of whom were left behind after this rapture, handle this?

They fight, of course. They save the world. That’s what they do. And then they rest. As a critic, it’s hard to come at a movie that has this much to  get done, gets it done (mostly) and also manages to be a hell of a lot of fun, a showcase for the three men and one woman who were basically holding this whole endeavor on their good looking charismatic backs. (And a few other people who were backing them up.)

Robert Downey Jr., Scarlett Johansson, Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth, are incredible performers who have given Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, Steve Rogers and Thor Odinson life and joy and heart, and here they get to pay off ten or so years of work. They are all excellent. (Especially Johansson, Nat’s had a journey y’all.)

Endgame is good. It’s very good. As close to perfect as it could be, from a critical standpoint. And from a fan standpoint, it is perfect.

Rankings:

  1. Avengers: Endgame

Trailers

Aladdin:
Kristi: It’s that soon?
Me: Meh, at least there’s no white people in it.
Aless: That is literally the only thing it has going for it though.

The Long Shot:
I will see it. I’m here for President Charlize.

Gemini Man:
Guys, Will Smith is back. I think we should all be happy about that.

Hobbs & Shaw:
Hot damn, I cannot wait for this. The only thing that upsets me is that it appears Shaw will not be brought to justice for Han’s death. Which is kind of a bummer. But the new trailer does have both Statham and Johnson saying “family” like sixteen times. So you know F&F….

Toy Story 4:
It really does look breathtaking doesn’t it? Even if it feels a little like the plot is a retread of 2. 

And from here on out, beyond that cut, we’re into spoiler land. I AM WARNING YOU.

I’M TOTALLY SERIOUS. SPOILERS HEREEEEEE

Continue reading

Earth’s Mightiest Heroes

No new post today, but here’s my review of The Avengers from NINE YEARS AGO.

It’s funny how my opinion on this movie has shifted. I was underwhelmed by it then, and I’m so in love with it now. This was also the 3rd or 4th post ever on the blog. CRAZY!

The Fangirl's Dilemma

OK, so now that I’ve gotten past my gushing, I’m going to actually talk about The Avengers, as a film and what I thought of it.

Can I preface this review with the fact that there will be spoilers? OK, cool. Preface number two, I am a huge Joss Whedon fan, OK? I think he’s amazing. However, unlike a lot of Whedon fans, I don’t feel that the man can do no wrong.

In fact I spent a lot of time cursing the fact that I’ve watched most of his work while I was watching The Avengers. I bet a neophyte wouldn’t have even noticed this stuff. But a lot of my enjoyment was tempered by the fact that we had seen most of it before. We’d seen it on Buffy The Vampire Slayer, AngelFirefly and in the film Serenity. We’d seen it on Dollhouse. It was distracting. Luckily, because he…

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Spring Has Sprung: Let’s Talk About Music

A few weeks ago on my facebook, I mentioned that season changes often put me into the mood for specific music. My Winter into spring music is pretty specific and kind of odd, but I thought it would be fun to talk about here. (We’ll do spring to summer, and summer to fall, probably too, but no promises.)

Anyway, let’s talk about it!

The Eagles

Frankly, I always like listening to The Eagles, which is kind of lame when you reflect on it, because The Eagles are kind of lame, but I also love them very much, so let’s get into it. I think Hotel California is a very good spring album because there’s something about it that feels like you should be driving with a top down while listening to it. I haven’t had a convertible in 10 years, so I settle for the windows down these days, but you know, still. Does the trick.

Death Cab For Cutie 

I actually would listen to Death Cab anytime also, but there’s something about their songs (especially Plans but really all of it…) that feels like waking up, which is very spring. I’m also in love with “I’ll Follow You Into The Dark,” right now, which you know, is kind of depressing, but it’s such a beautiful song. I also started an Amazon station of their music, which lead me down some great roads of their mid 2000s indie rock peers. So much Florence And The Machine, and Mumford And Sons you guys. It’s glorious.

John Williams Scores

OK, again, there’s no bad time to listen to this music, but it’s something that gets me moving, which is important in spring. Listen the “Eight Symphonies,” (Star Wars,) or my favorite score of all time, Jurassic Park and seriously, seriously, the Superman score, which is totally beautiful and lovely and great.

So that’s my spring music, what do you like to listen to this time of year to get things movie, and welcome the pollen that is currently destroying my resperatory system?

Movie Season 2018: Whatever It Takes

Hey All! So on Friday, it all begins. Aless, Kristi and I will be kicking off Movie Season 2019 with Avengers: Endgame, and I will be navigating through what may be the most climactic and traumatic movie season of them all. (Seriously folks, I’m trying very hard to not get anxiety over several big bad endings that have grounded this blog that are coming…something new will present itself, it always does, but it’s still hard.)

Anyway! Movie season! Let’s do this!

April 26:

Avengers: Endgame

So it ends. And begins. This blog started with The Avengers, you might recall, and I’m more than a little nervous about how this is going to turn out, and who’s going to come out the other side. We’ll have more to say on Saturday, but for now, I’m braced.

May 3:

The Long Shot

I like both Charlize Theron and Seth Rogen quite a bit. I’m sure this movie will be quite charming. If it weren’t for AMC A-List I probably wouldn’t make the effort to see it in theaters.

May 10:

Detective Pikachu

I’m looking forward to this. The Pokemon designs are cute, the cast seems game, and Ryan Reynolds is a delight most of the time.

The Hustle

GIVE ANNE HATHEWAY WHATEVER SHE WANTS. What did she do to you Hollywood? Oh right, turned 30, and was honestly proud of herself for nailing “I Dreamed A Dream.”

Tolkien

Any and all excuses to pick up The Hobbit again, honestly. It’s been a few years since I read it and I have a feeling this movie will do it.

May 17

John Wick 3

Keanu being great. I actually never saw 2, but I’ll remedy that before this comes out.

May 24

Aladdin

It doesn’t look great. I probably won’t rush to see it, but I’ll get to it.

Book Smart

Boy howdy, this looks fun! Girl Superbad is a good, good thing.

May 31

Godzilla: King Of Monsters

This cast is sooo good. But Americans are verry very bad at making Godzilla movies. But on the other hand Kyle Chandler and Bradley Whitford.

Rocket Man

I’m calling my shot on this one and thinking that this is going to hold the top spot for a long long time. (Oh no no no…) It looks fantastic, (and the brown dirt cowboy) and I love Elton John.

June 7

X-Men: Dark Phoenix

Sophie Turner deserves better. Jean Grey deserves better. WE deserve better. Maybe it will actually be good, but nothing looks particularly promising about this movie.

Late Night

ON THE OTHER HAND. Emma Thompson and Mindy Kaling in a comedy about how women need to make themselves “likable” in the public eye? Did I dream this movie up?

June 14

Men In Black

Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson were great together in Ragnorok, and Men In Black is kind of an evergreen concept. I hope it’s good, because the original Men In Black is wonderful, the second one is dog poop, and the third one is OK.

Shaft

Shut yo mouth. Three Shafts in one movie. Excellent.

The Dead Don’t Die

Zombies. Yes please.

June 21

Toy Story 4

Shut up. You’re crying.

June 28

Yesterday

What a fun idea for a movie! If you woke up one day and were the only person who remembered The Beatles! What a delight!

July 5

Spider-Man: Far From Home

The final movie in Phase 3, apparently? I would watch Tom Holland’s take on Peter Parker pretty much infinity, plus I think Zendaya is going to have a bit more to do this time. So, should be fun.

July 19

The Lion King

I am not sure I will like this movie. I will certainly like certain performances of the songs. “Hakuna Matata” is going to kick many butts, as will “Can You Feel The Love Tonight.”

July 26

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood

I haven’t loved a Tarantino movie since Inglorious Basterds, but I’ll be damned if I’m missing his take on the Manson Murders. It’s surely going to be tasteless, bloody and goddamned fun. And the soundtrack, y’all, think of the soundtrack.

August 2

Hobbs & Shaw

It is a miracle that the presence of The Rock, Jason Statham and Idris Elba in a movie didn’t cause some kind of collapse in the sexy time continuum, but it didn’t and this movie is gonna be fun!

New Mutants

Maisie Williams deserves better. The X-Men deserve better. We deserve better.

August 9

Artemis Fowl & Where’d You Go Bernadette

I think I have to read both of these books. I know people that absolutely love them both.

August 16

Good Boys

MORE TEEN SEX COMEDY FUN! I’m so glad Blockers did well (and was funny) and is reminding people of the potential of this genre. We’re getting two this summer.

September 6

It: Chapter 2

This time, they’re grownups. It is way less fun.

September 13

The Goldfinch

Again, I need to read this. People fricking love this book…

September  20

Downton Abbey

I get my mom to the movies once a year. I know that this year it’s going to be for this. I can’t wait. I hope Edith is OK. I hope she has a baby.

Rambo V

I didn’t know this was happening. But it makes sense, when he needed to backing for it, Sly would have just been nominated for Creed.

September 27

Judy

Judy Garland biopic. I’m here for it. Lady lead an interesting life.

October 6

Joker

I’m withholding judgement. I’m sure it will be worth talking about no matter what. It certainly looks interesting.

October 11

Zombieland: Double Tap

YYYYAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

October 18

Maleficent: Mistress Of Evil

Man, the first movie let me down so bad. I doubt this will be better, but I mean, whatever. Good for Angelina, she seems to really like being Maleficent.

The Addams Family

The designs look FAB, and Oscar Isaac voicing Gomez is some straight genius, although, he could also play the part in real life.

November 1

Terminator: Dark Fate

*Sigh* At least Linda Hamilton is back this time. But I think we need to stop trying to make more Terminator movies work.

November 8

Doctor Sleep

It’s the sequel to The Shining, which rules. I haven’t read Doctor Sleep yet, but I will by November. Plus Ewan McGregor as Danny Torrance all grown up. I can dig on that.

Sonic The Hedghog

I don’t actually care about the movie, but I’m glad Ben Scwartz gets to add another “90’s Blue Cartoon Character” to his list. (He’s Dewey on Ducktales and Leonardo on Ninja Turtles.)

November 15

Charlie’s Angels

I genuinely didn’t know this was happening, but again kinda an evergreen concept that will be at least watchable.

November 22

A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood

Tom Hanks as Mr. Rodgers. You know, for when you’re feeling sad.

Frozen 2

They gave Anna a sword. THEY GAVE ANNA A SWORD. Also, Elsa testing her powers by freezing and running up waves. I will cry.

December 20

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker

I was so stunned by the trailer. I love the subtitle. I think we’re going to be happy. I hope so. I’ve missed Star Wars, I cut a lot of it out of my life in the last year, kind of on purpose, and I want it back. I want it back now.

So that’s where we’re at. It’ll move around I’m sure, and as the Oscar Movies get their dates expand a bit!

Game Of Thrones Winner: “A Knight Of The Seven Kingdoms”

Did, did I win this episode, you guys? Because it was pretty much everything I wanted it to be.

But, no, I didn’t win. There’s a clear winner here, y’all.

Rise, Ser Brienne of Tarth, Knight of The Seven Kingdoms.

JAIME KNIGHTED BRIENNE. And he did it after a knight of drinking and storytelling with Tyrion, Davos, Tormund and Podrick.

It was fucking beautiful and I was crying my eyes out. Also on the Brienne and Jaime front, he was only not executed by Dany and Sansa because Brienne spoke up for him, and Jaime noted that he had every intention of following her into death.

Yeah. You guys. That’s how you do it.

Sansa gets runner up, for reasons I will further outline below, but seriously, I also love her.

Arya And Gendry Watch

Welp, it happened. Arya Stark marched her cute little butt into that smithy, and told that hotty royal bastard boy she’d always had a crush on that she wanted to lose her virginity before being killed by ice zombies and sex was had, sass was shared and true love won! (In notes on this previous feature, Grey Worm and Missandei made plans to return to the summer isles after the war is won, because Westeros is hella racist.) (They’re going to die, and I’m not going to be able to handle it, especially since this weekend Captain America is also probably going to die, and you know what, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.)

Sansa’s Agency Watch

Quick reminder that the only reason anyone is still alive is because the northerners really really like Sansa. Theon came back to pledge for her, and Dany and she made peace (though we’ll get back to that whole mess in a hot sec) and she forgave Jaime because Brienne is a good judge of character, and everyone just went along with it.

Sansa rules.

Arya Badass Watch

I love her. I love her so much. I love her shooting arrows and straight up telling Gendry she wants to have sex. I love her demanding he build her weapon before anyone else’s, and that he tell her about the Night King and the White Walkers. She’s great.

Bran Stark’s Excellent Adventure

Kiss today goodbye
And point me toward tomorrow
We did what we had to do
Won’t forget, Can’t regret what I did for love…

(Bran’s entire storyline would be more compelling if he were singing showtunes the whole time.) (Also, he forgives Jaime, I guess, or whatever. And he realizes that he’s who the Night King is after.) (Whatever.)

#NotAStark #NotABastard

Dany was having come to Jesus moments with the Winterfell kids all over the place. Jon’s being very awkward, now that he knows she’s his aunt and also that his claim to the throne is better than hers, and he tells her. While standing in front of Lyanna’s tomb, right before the horns blow and the dead descend on Winterfell.

It’s a really good ending.

Sam Is A Ravenclaw

In the most Ravenclaw move ever, Sam hands Heartsbane over to Jorah, a Gryffindor if ever there was one on this show, (Besides Jon and Robb.) and brags about his book stealing.

In Westeros, We Don’t Shake Hands, In Westeros We Hug

So, it appears this season is going to be largely about heartwarming reuinions and hugs. This week, Jon and Sam hugged Edd, and Tormund. Sansa hugged Theon and Dany, I think. Brienne was definitely mentally hugging Jaime, and probably other things.

On A Scale Of Aragorn’s Speech Before The Gates Of Mordor To Sansa Being Raped While Theon Watches How LOTR Was This Episode?

It was somewhere in between the scene in the extended edition where Faramir sees Eowyn for the first time and Jon drawing his sword as the Bolton army charges at him.

Next week, well, it’s what it is right? It’s the battle. Things are about to turn. But it shouldn’t be lost on anyone that the seventh book that we’re likely never going to get to read, is entitled, “A Dream Of Spring.” Maybe it’s just the Easter feels, but I think even if “The Battle Of Winterfell,” is a loss, Westeros and mankind will make it to the Dawn and Thaw.

Game Of Thrones Winner: “Winterfell”

Hi everyone! Welcome back to Westeros. Welcome to Palace intrigue and incest you root for, and so much dragons and fur capes you guys.

This is our last few week crowning winners. Let’s savor it.

Anyway, I think it’s clear:

JON SNOW, or, should I say, Aegon Targaryen. You won.

Jon-Snow-1

Soo broody and handsome.

Jon rode Rhaegal! He made out with Danerys at a waterfall! He learned that he’s not who he believes he is and is actually Aegon Targaryen the rightful king of Westeros.

So…you know, yay?

Runner up is Euron. I’m very happy for him that he got to have sex with Cersei. I think that’s nice for him. Absurd Evil Pirate Wizard Kings need love too, you guys.

Missandei And Grey Worm Watch Renamed Arya And Gendry Watch

Now that our two favorite freed slaves have what I assume is a happy and stable relationship, based mostly around cunnilingus and snuggling, we need to move on to the CUTEST COUPLE OF MISFITS IN THE NORTH. I’m talking about Gendry Storm and Arya Stark. The flirting! The weapons! The Hound rolling his eyes.

I’ve been rolling with some “Gendry gets the throne,” theorizing, and you know, I could see it. Queen Arya would be fun too.

Sansa’s Agency Watch

You know that scene in an early episode of New Girl where Jess describes a coworker who told her she “rocked a lot of polka dots,” and Cece is outraged on Jess’s behalf and the guys don’t get it at all?

Sansa was the coworker and Danerys was Jess. HOLY CRAP, my girl was rocking the side eye and the passive agressive comments. Just all of it! Plus she reunited with her less dysfunctional husband. (To be fair, Sansa has had terrible, terrible luck in the marriage department.) I’m kinda rooting for her and Tyrion though. I think new sassy, takes no shit Sansa, and new tired, I believe in Danerys Targaryen Tyrion could do well together.

Arya Badass Watch

Not much straight up badassery on display, but we’ve really seen her growth. She lets Jon know she sees his point, without tearing down Sansa, she flirts with Gendry, she stares The Hound down. She’s sneaking up on people and scaring them right and left. It’s all GOLD. Maisie Williams has really grown into a remarkable actor.

Bran Stark’s Excellent Adventure

Bran didn’t time travel this week, but he did make Sam do his dirty work, and came face to face with the man who pushed him out of a window. We’ll see how that plays out next week, but guys, much like Sansa, and I think Sam a little bit, I’m wayyy over Bran’s whole, “I am the Three Eyed Raven, I have no feelings. Beep Boop,” schtick, so I hope it ends with him just grabbing a sword and swinging. (But I don’t want Jaime to die…yet…)

#NotAStark #NotABastard

So he knows now. Also he knows he’s been sticking it to his aunt. And he’s kind of pissy about all of it. Not that I blame him, it’s a lot to deal with.

Sam Is A Ravenclaw

SAM. STOLE. BOOKS. FROM. THE CITADEL. He stole books. He’s such a nerd, and it’s so awesome.

How Long Until Jaime Snaps?

Well, he’s in Winterfell and is going to be called to task on many, many of his past crimes. I could see Brienne standing up for him. I hope she does.

The Dragon Has Three Heads

JON RODE A DRAGON. Also, he knows now. That’s pretty important.

Other People Did Things

Yara gave Theon permission to go to Winterfell while she headed to the Iron Islands to get things in order in case of retreat from the North.

The Night King killed a bunch of people, arranged them in a shape, and then Beric set them on fire.

Varys called out Tyrion for his constant eunech jokes, by pointing out he hates jokes about his being a dwarf. Also Davos, did his whole, “I’m just saying what everyone’s thinking,” thing in regards to Dany and Jon. Because yeah…

Cersei was hoping the Golden Company would bring their elephants, but they didn’t and she’s kind of put out about it. I agree with her, because elephants in battle look really cool.

So, that’s where we’re at, so far. I was impressed by the episode. I’m worried about Jon. I love that Arya is home and uncreepy.