Winter Is Here

Not to get overly gushy or anything, but OhMiGod OhMiGod You Guys! Game of Thrones comes back on Sunday.

While it’s a short visit to Westeros (only 7 episodes, although I’m choosing to think of it in terms of the two 7 episode seasons actually giving us 4 more episodes than one 10 episode season would, it’s still hard to stomach the abbreviation.)

I’ve spent a large chunk of my summer trying NOT to obsess over the fact that Game of Thrones wasn’t back and now it’s coming back and OMG I’m so happy that it’s back.

What’s going to be weird is I’ve lost some of my sounding board for the show. Mary and Joe have moved across the country and into a different time zone, so even discussing the show with them is going to be delayed, I will now rely on you, trusty blog folk, even more to flail over episodes with me.  But, since it’s been longer than usual, and because I’ve been avoiding it I haven’t rewatched the show as I usually do leading into the new season, let’s consider where we’re at:

Starks:

Jon has been declared The King In The North, and Sansa appears to be the power behind that. Little Finger (BLEH) brought the Knights of The Eyrie to save their bacon, and has declared that he wants the Iron Throne and Sansa as his queen (TRIPLE BLEH). Jon has banished Melisandre, and he and Davos are all set to shift everyone’s attention from King’s Landing to North of The Wall, where the White Walkers continue to grow in power.

Oh, also, Jon is actually the son of Lyanna Stark and Rhaegar Targaryen, and is possibly, if Lyanna and Rhaegar were married the true heir to the Iron Throne, a prime candidate to be The Prince That Was Promised, and will, if all badassness is to be fulfilled, become the rider of one of Dany’s dragons. (Probably the one named for his father.)

Or he’ll die, because George RR Martin.

Arya has begun her vengeance quest. We’ll see how that goes. Bran is officially the Three Eyed Raven now, I think?

Lannisters:

Cersei is on the Iron Throne, all her kids are dead, Jaime likely won’t put up with her shit much longer and The Sand Snakes and The Tyrells are coming for her. I want few things in this story more than Jaime killing Cersei and then himself. It feels narratively necessary.

Tyrion we’ll get to later, but yeah.

Daenerys Targaryen, Stormborn, Queen of The Seven Kingdoms & Mereen, Breaker of Chains, Khaleesi of The Great Grass Sea & Mother Of Dragons

Khaleesi is headed for Westeros, everybody say WOOO!!!! She’s got a fleet of Greyjoy ships, as well as the ships of the slavemasters, she’s got a crap ton of Dorthraki and the Unsullied on her side, plus she’s got the council of Tyrion Lannister and Lord Varys and Dragons.

We’ve seen pictured of Dany and Jon together, but whether that’s because they have scenes together or Emilia and Kit were just having a chat remains to be seen. BUT OH BOY do I want those two unsmiling hardasses to meet up and scowl at each other.

People Who I Think Are Going To Die

I mean, besides everyone? I do not think that Davos is long for this world, The Lord of Light and Melisandre as his emissary are probably not going to let his rejection stand.

Cersei, as I’ve explained and Jaime after her.

Jorah, also probably a goner, which is a bummer.

People Who May Live But Who I Don’t Think Things Will Work Out So Great For

The Good Greyjoys: I just don’t see things working out for Yara and Theon. Euron is supposed to be the most sadistic and terrifying villain we’ve seen yet, according to Martin, and he’s been thwarted by his niece and disgraced nephew, which I do not think he will take well. Also, it’s not like, out of the question that Arya: Spirit of Lady Stoneheart decides that Theon’s redemption is bullshit and murders the crap out of him.

Sansa: Too much went Sansa’s way last season. It was awesome, don’t get me wrong, but she’s long overdue for a large scale setback that is also completely horrifying.

Dany & Jon: Look I want things to work out for these crazy kids. I want them married, ruling Westeros and defeating The Others with dragonfire. BUT, this is Thrones. Martin’s never met a fantasy trope he didn’t subvert, castrate, rape, murder, feed to dogs and then set on fire. Secret son of the king, turned reborn chosen one and exiled princess returning to her true throne 100% qualify as the kind tropes he loves to stomp all over. Thus, I fear that our beloved Prince and Princess Who Were Promised are likely to wind up dead in the snow, their eyes turning blue, servants of the Night’s King. Sam and Tyrion will likely avenge them. Martin likes them a lot. A little too much, frankly.

People I will Miss Very Much This Season

Margaery Tyrell. King Tommen The Adorable. Ser Barristan Selmy. Shireen Baratheon. Stannis Baratheon. Hodor. The Faceless Man/J’Quen H’Ghar. The High Sparrow.

People I Will Not Miss At All And Thank God They’re Finally Dead/Not Involved Anymore

Walder Frey. Loras Tyrell. Ramsey Bolton. Myranda. The Fucking Waif. Every Single Character In Mereen Who Wasn’t Directly Allied With Dany.

Shipping Things I Want

Yara/Dany

Jon/Dany

Dany/Anyone (Seriously, I ship her with the whole world)

Brienne/Jaime

Shipping Things I DO NOT Want

Brienne/Tormund (DIIIIEEEEE IN A FIRRRREEEEE)

Dany/Tyrion (OK, so there’s one exception I don’t want her with)

Sansa/Anyone

Funny Thing That Happened To Me This Weekend

So on Saturday, my friend Owen mentioned that he started that show and that he’s halfway through season 2 and he hopes that Robb Stark doesn’t get corrupted by his new found power. He asked me if this happens and I half laughed/half cried, “No, Robb does NOT in fact corrupted by power.” Then he said that he didn’t I think that Robb should be the king, to which I replied, “Well, even at the point you’re at no, because I don’t think there should be a king, there should be a queen.”

Then he kept prying about what happened to Robb and I explained that this kind of conversation gets people mad at me, and he said he doesn’t care about spoilers, and everyone who’s watched the show said pretty much in unison, “OH NO, you care about this.”

Because there are spoilers and not caring and then there’s having someone wreck the Red Wedding for you.

Anyway, I told him if he wanted my thoughts, he was free to come read the thousands of words that I’ve written here about the show.

And there are more to come.

Guys, it’s back on Sunday.

Winter is Here.

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