Quick schedule change this week because I’m going to see Hamilton tonight and I don’t think I’ll want to write about anything else for tomorrow!
Episode 12: “The Drinks We Drank Last Night”
It’s the court mandated Hangover episode. It’s the day after Brooke’s bachelorette party and the group must piece together what’s gone on the night before. They know it involves Brooke losing her engagement ring, Silvia crashing the party, Haley leaving early (hence no one remembering, as pregnant Haley wouldn’t have gotten blackout drunk), Dave Navarro and a skateboarding dog.
They track down the ring, and as it turns out at one point in the reveries, Brooke called Julian, kissed him (a waitress pointed out that she made out with someone, turns out, it was her fiancé) and he took the ring for safe keeping. The dog belongs to Nathan’s cranky professor and Dave Navarro is playing somewhere and they had a water filled condom fight with him. Oh, also Millie got a tattoo and drank a bunch of alcohol out of an old boot.
Peyton calls Brooke and tells her that she’s not going to make it to the wedding because Sawyer is sick and so Brooke asks Haley to be her maid of honor. (I have never been OK with this development, as it was reported to me by Katherine when it happened. I understand why, but it’s still a major, UGH.)
Episode 13: “The Other Half of Me”
It’s Brooke and Julian’s wedding day and thus we get all kinds of good stuff. The episode opens to a scene from Brooke’s childhood, where sitting outside her big house with the red door, hiding from an argument her parents are having and a bride driving by tosses her a veil. This comes back later, where Victoria comes by Brooke’s house while she and Haley get dressed and gives Brooke the veil as a gift.
Julian, meanwhile, relates a story about a childhood crush and a belief in love brought about from the exact situation of Tim McGraw’s “Something Like That,” (The barbeque stain on a white tee shirt is in fact left out…but otherwise). Jamie then uses this story in his best man speech and it’s adorable. Haley, meanwhile, recounts to events of “Every Night Is Another Story,” which reminded me of a time when this show was the best instead of mediocre.
Meanwhile, Skills has taken it upon himself to make sure that none of the Tree Hill wedding disasters come upon Brooke and Julian. Thus, he makes sure that Julian is who he says he is by running a background check (Keith and Jules), that all people entering the church are invited (Lucas and Lindsey) and that no one interrupts the ceremony with objections, (also Lucas and Lindsey). Brooke isn’t pregnant so her going into early almost deadly labor is not a factor. He arranges alternate transportation so that no one can steel and then drive the limo off of a bridge (Nathan and Haley).
Also there’s some drama with the Alex/Chase/Mia triangle and I can’t believe I don’t care about this. Clay and Quinn are in the episode, as is Nathan, but they basically do nothing.
Everything is lovely, I cried a few times, and it’s a perfectly serviceable. It’s just not blow you out of the water great, as this show once was.
Episode 14: “Holding Out For A Hero”
So Brooke is bored and has been watching Kick Ass and thus decides that she, Haley and Quinn should become superheroes. Look, we weren’t fully into Berlanti-Land but I’m pretty sure Arrow had hit by now, so I guess it makes sense. Either that or the show predicted the network’s future, either way, this plot is bananas, but it does get the girls dressed in super cute costumes and Brooke’s superhero identity of B-Dazzler is kind of completely genius. Anyway, they wind up defending a girl who’s getting bullied, so that’s a thing.
Julian and Mouth make a commercial for a community college and it goes really well, and it’s all terribly sweet. Nathan is still having trouble with his dickish professor, and Clay comes and saves him with some speech about integrity and how theory alone doesn’t cut it in the real world or whatever.
Chase has volunteered to be a big brother and gets assigned to Chuck, who is such an asshole kid, but whatever. Turns out Chuck’s home life is kind of a dumpster fire, and Chase is going to be there for him. It’s very nice.
Episode 15: “Valentine’s Day Is Over”
It’s Valentine’s Day and everyone’s getting sexy, except Nathan and Haley. Brooke and Julian spend the whole day role playing sexy scenes. It’s adorable and funny and really just an excuse to get Sophia into some killer lingerie. It’s very cute and the whole thing ends with Julian saying that he thinks that they should look into adoption. Considering they got married like 5 seconds ago, I mean, I guess they should jump right to having kids.
Chase continues to big brother Chuck, who, as it turns out is a musical theatre genius. He wrote a perfectly serviceable show tune song about lost love and longing. Also, he helps Chase transform Tric into a romantic date spot exclusively for Clay and Quinn. After Clay pretends that he’s just not into Valentine’s Day.
Nathan and Haley agree not to do anything, but it’s also a fake out. This is cute, but not exactly revelatory. Jamie takes Madison to a carnival…which I bet is a move he got from Julian. Mouth and Millie make an audition tape for him to try out for a field reporter position.
Episode 16: “I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here”
Haley is going a little stir crazy, and she’s bugging Quinn a lot. And Quinn and Brooke are trying to organize a surprise baby shower for Haley, so this is a problem, I guess? Anyway, at the shower, everyone sends love at Haley and Haley feels good, and then everyone starts asking Quinn when she and Clay are going to get engaged. I feel sort of bad for Millie in this scenario, since Quinn does not want to talk about it, and Millie drops a big giant, “HEY! I MIGHT GET ENGAGED SOON TOO! I AM ALSO IN A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP HERE!” convo bomb and everyone sort of ignores her.
Clay and Nathan have been scoping out a baseball player to sign and he’s the son of Nathan’s dick wad teacher, and has a season 1 Nathan size chip on his shoulder. He does come to Jamie’s baseball practice and teach the kids some stuff though, so that’s pretty fun and cute.
Brooke and Julian meet with a pregnant girl who might give them their baby. They try to come off as perfectly normal and stable people, and while they are stable, they are not normal and the girl, Chloe picks up on that but decides she likes them anyway. Yes, Brooke and Julian are the best people ever.
In the end Quinn and Clay go to a garden that they both dreamed about when they were in their weird sideways coma world. So, you know, that’s fun.
Overall Analysis of This Arc
I will get through this series. I will get through this series. I only have a few weeks left. I will finish. I’m ready.
I am actually excited to see the Brooke and Julian start a family stuff. They are the best. I’m deeply over all things Naley, which makes me sad, because they used to be the best.