It took a lot of thinking before I landed on this winner, although I’m not sure why. Table setting episodes can be tough calls but in the end, well, this is the best I could think of.
Sam won this week.
Sam went home, in hopes of keeping Gilly and Little Sam safe, but in having to deal with his douche of a father, he remembers that he’s kind of a bad ass, and he and Gilly and the baby take off, and steal his family’s Valerian Steel sword Heartsbane, because you know what you do with Valerian steel?
You kill mother fucking White Walkers!
Runner up is Benjen Stark, for being alive and saving Bran and Meera from those Wights. Mostly the being alive part though. Guys, we have so many Starks now. Just so many. Also, I think it’s interesting that Benjen was reanimated with the same magic that made the Night’s King.
Missandei and Grey Worm Watch
They weren’t around this week, but in other shipping news, Gilly got a pretty dress. So we’ll talk about that.
Sam’s sister gave it to her and I love the puffy princess sleeves. (Sam’s mother and sister had those too, so I guess that’s a fashion thing in that area. Anyway, that’s all.
Sansa’s Agency Watch
No Sansa this week. But next week she’s all, “I did what I had to do, but I was always a Stark.” I love her.
Arya Bad Ass Watch
Arya didn’t kill the actress! She chose the name Mercy! She reclaimed Needle! She’s going to have to fight The Waif and it’s gonna be ballin! (As I said, this was mostly table setting, not a lot happened.) But it’s time for our Wolf Girl to come home and help her brothers and sister take back the North. And kill Cersei, she should absolutely kill Cersei.
Bran Stark’s Excellent Adventure
This week, Bran basically recapped the series, and caught glimpses of King Aerys Targaryen shouting “Burn Them All!” Which as we know, is the incident that caused Jaime to stick a sword in his back, and start a whole lot of messes.
King Tommen The Adorable
Tommen and Margaery join with the High Sparrow, which is less “adorable” and more “probably a really dumb idea,” but he also spares Jaime and sends him to the Riverlands, which means that Jaime and Brienne will soon be right near each other.
Seriously, you all keep your Brienne and Tormund Crackship. I will be ride or die Jaime/Brienne. This ship will sink with me on it and I stomp my feet and curse the Many-Faced God, and Rh’llor, and The Seven, and The Old Gods, because they are the one true ship.
I have opinions about this…