This was a hard call, which means I’m bringing back Runners Up, which I realized last week that I hadn’t been doing this season. I’ll explain when we get there why this was a hard call (despite it seeming obvious).
Because obviously, Danerys won.
She won because, like the true bad ass lady she is, she made friends with the only other Dosh Khaleen under 50, convinced Jorah and Daario that they weren’t going to steal her away in the dead of night, and then, oh you know, SET THE KHALS ON FIRE and walked out of the temple, unburnt (dragon and all that), and had all of the Dorthraki kneeling before her, ready to go back to Mereen and kick the asses of the Sons of The Harpies and The Masters and then go on to take Westeros, because SHE IS THE PRINCE THAT WAS PROMISED DOUCHE NOZZLES AND GET ON BOARD!
Runner up goes, to Jon and Sansa. It’s hard for me not to give wins to Starks when things go right for them, or close to right. I was crying quite hard when they ran and hugged each other. It was beautiful when they talked about how they never should have left Winterfell. (Sansa saying that she wanted to go back and yell at herself seems, prescient, I mean, with the Bran of it all…) It was just so beautiful.
Missandei and Grey Worm Watch
They are pretty much done with Tyrion’s shenanigans, but he’s also allowing them seats at the negotiating table, when he sits down with the Masters, which is cool and which is giving Missangei, at least, a lot to think about. Neither of them like the idea of negotiating with The Masters, but in the end they back Tyrion. But I think Missandei is royally pissed about it.
Sansa’s Agency Watch
Sansa spends a good chunk of this episode convincing Jon that they need to take Winterfell back. He doesn’t want to until they receive a letter from Ramsay where he talks about how he’s going to kill them all, rape Sansa some more, etc. Then she gets her way. But she’s also not sitting back and being a pawn anymore. No, Season 6 Sansa is all about getting shit done, and it’s a thing of beauty.
Oh also, she apologizes to Jon for being THE WORST when they were kids. But he also points out that he was Mopey McEmo face, so there’s that. Whatever, Sansa was great this episode.
Arya Bad Ass Watch
No Arya this week, but her stuff for next week looks cool.
Is Jon Going To Stay Dead?
Absolutley not. I think it’s time to retire this feature! Not only is Jon not staying dead, he’s acting like himself, has all of his memories. So, that’s kind of all settled.
Bran Stark’s Excellent Adventure
No Bran this week, but Ramsay killed Osha and I’m pretty sad about it, and that’s vaguely related to Bran.
Theon’s home and Yara is threatened by that, but he’s promising to back her, because you know, he’s horribly traumatized and all that jazz. But also, I realize, that Sansa will most likely be Rickon’s regent when they get Winterfell back, Yara very well may rule the Iron Islands and The True Queen will soon return, which will make Westeros a weird awesome matriarchy.
GIVE US THIS, SHOW! After last season, we’ve earned it.