So I figured out why I hate Attack of The Clones, more than I dislike the large snoozefest that is The Phantom Menace.
Attack of The Clones is just a mound of wasted potential, it’s a million things that are good in theory that are executed terribly.
Anakin and Obi-Wan as space cops, good.
Love story between two good looking and talented young actors, good.
Cool new planet where they grow clones, good.
Boba Fett, good.
Giant Jedi battle for the finale, good.
But nothing quite comes off, and the movie is a mess. I’ll never condemn anything for focusing on a love story, even a tropey, bad, half baked one. I love love stories. But I find Episode II’s romantic scenes tedious and awkward.
Obi-Wan’s hunt for the Clone Army is still pretty cool, and I’ve always held that it makes the movie watchable, but even Ewan McGregor’s considerable enthusiasm can’t get me psyched up for this movie, it just falls flat.
Hayden Christensen is a problem. I don’t understand this casting choice. They couldn’t recast Natalie Portman and Ewan McGregor, but half the young actors in Hollywood wanted that role, they should have found someone who had some semblance of chemistry with them.
But again, Ewan McGregor just delivers. He just seems so delighted to be in this movie (also Samuel L. Jackson, who is great, as always.) And actually my favorite non lightsaber battle scene in all of the prequels is the one where Yoda and Obi-Wan ask the Younglings to find Kamino. And the Yoda/Dooku battle is great.
For some reason though, it never adds up to a good movie and that’s why it makes me so angry.
Christopher Lee is also great and the movies is gorgeous, which makes it easier to watch and The Love Story is actually only a few memorably terrible scenes. But they are like really bad.
There are so many things that are great in this movies and it isn’t great, and it’s really frustrating, and that’s all I have to say about it.