Game of Thrones Winner: “Garden of Bones”

As this episode started I wasn’t sure there would be a clear winner, because it’s one of those mid season, scattered all over the place table setting episodes. But then I remembered who won this episode a million times over.

Tywin fucking Lannister

Tywin Lannister

As Gendry is about to be tortured at Harrenhall (and let’s face it, Arya is probably next) Tywin comes riding in and just Lannisters all over the gods damned place! He says sassy things to the idiots who are torturing everyone. He notices Arya is a girl, he gets shit done.

Seriously, rewatching this seasons, I’m greatly appreciating Tywin. He’s sort of the best.

So congratulations, Lord Tywin Lannister of Casterly Rock, you won this episode by being a total freaking bad ass.

Runner up goes to Margaery, who zinged Little Finger but good. Good for her.

Missandei And Grey Worm Watch

Khaleesi got to Quarth this episode, which is a step closer to our favorite couple. Or, my favorite.

Sansa Agency Watch

Look, this is not a great time in the story for Sansa’s agency. Basically this episode she gets beaten and stripped by Ser Meryn at Joffrey’s behest. It’s…not great. But we do get the first instance of her realizing how powerful she can be. When Tyrion asks if she wants out of marrying her tormentor, she holds her head up, musters her dignity and says simply, “I am loyal to Joffrey, my one true love.”

“Lady Stark, you may survive us yet.”

And then some.

Arya Bad Ass Watch

Not a lot of action from Arya, but her list grows a lot. And she’s gonna start learning from Tywin, which will be big for her.

Who Was Jamie A Dick To?

Still no Jamie. He is….not in this season a whole lot it turns out. This segment is not going well.

Robb is A King And Kind of Bad At It

Robb met Talisa this week, which leads to him questioning what needs to be done when it comes to kinging. And she of course leads to the worst part of him being bad at being a king, that is breaking his vow to Walder Frey thus causing The Red Wedding and everything bad and horrible.

Just as a quick note, this is around the time in the show when the nudity goes from “porny and exploitative” to “violent and disturbing.” Not yet, “violent, disturbing and exploitative” though, because we haven’t met Ramsey.

Shudder

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