Game Of Thrones Winner: “The Dance of Dragons”

Well, I think it’s official that Season 5 of Game of Thrones is the absolute worst ever. 

I was about five seconds away from naming Kelli O’Hara the winner of the game of thrones because seriously, last night belonged entirely to Kelli O’Hara, who after years of hard work, iconic performances and losing five times, finally won a Tony award for her portrayal of Anna Leonowens in The King and I at Lincoln Center, which I still really want to go see, actually more than ever, because ugh, so fabulous. But that is another post for later in the week.

WINNER! BEST EVER! PRETTY DRESS!

WINNER! BEST EVER! PRETTY DRESS!

But then the ending happened and Drogon. Drogon is the winner of tonight’s Game Of Thrones, because, much like the rest of us, I am pretty sure that he is over this shit. He is over, Sansa being raped, and us being afraid that, oh, maybe Arya too, and Dany being a bonehead, and Sand Snakes threatening to kill Myrcella AND STANNIS ALLOWING MELISANDRE TO BURN SHIREEN AT THE STAKE LIKE SOME KIND OF CRAZY PSYCHO!  He is done, and he is taking Dany to the desert, where she will be safe, and can’t make anymore stupid boneheaded decisions.

Seriously, Mom! GET IT TOGETHER ALREADY!

Seriously, Mom! GET IT TOGETHER ALREADY!

I knew this was coming, but sort of thought maybe it wouldn’t since you know oh, STANNIS BURNED SHIREEN AT THE STAKE. Because I hate him. And he is the worst. And that didn’t happen in the books. WOOOORRRRRSSSSTTTT! So I feared that maybe, just everyone would die in the fighting pits instead of Drogon and Dany flying away.

And this season is the worst.

And it will be over next week. Finally.

And everything can stop being the worst for like, maybe a minute. Ugh.

I hate this season.

Runner up goes to, Myrcella, I guess. She gets to go to King’s Landing and Trystane is coming with her. He does not seem overly psyched about this outcome. But hey, what are you gonna do man? Maybe Myrcella can get Tommen out of his room and then Margaery can give her the sex talk. I think I’ll write that fanfic.

This is what you’ve done to me Game Of Thrones, you’re forcing me to write asinine fanfic about Margaery telling Myrcella about penises.

WORST!

Missandei And Grey Worm Watch

They both protected Dany very bravely this week. There was no smooching or interaction of any kind. THE WORST.

Sansa’s Agency Watch

No Sansa tonight. Which is good. I probably couldn’t have handled it.

But hey! Kelli O’Hara won a Tony!

Yay!

Yay!

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