A lot happens in Avengers: Age Of Ultron, and we just might have another one of those “very special” Saturday posts to run down a full review of the movie (after I see it the second time and I don’t have to get up and go to work in the morning) but here are the highlights as I remember them.
SPOILERS FOR DAYS BELOW!!!!!!!!!!!
- The opening is Tony cursing and Steve telling him to “watch his language” this becomes a running gag throughout and it’s awesome.
- This is a real team. They get each other. They have relationships. Everything feels lived in. When Steve, Tony and Thor plan a party, you totally get that these three people would plan a party together. It’s pretty great.
- Wanda Maximoff is a closet cosplay dream. Her look is accessible but distinct. All little black dresses and arm cuffs.
- NATASHA AND BRUCE FOR LIFE! They are so stinking cute. I love them.
- Pity Rhodey. Also pity Sam. But also don’t, we’ll get there.
- Tony’s greatest nightmare is destroying his friends and then destroying the world.
- Steve’s is the loss of the life he could have had. The WWII victory party he never attended, Peggy being torn from him as they danced.
- Thor in the banquet hall of Asgard, Heimdal’s hands around his neck, saying he doomed them to Hel. (Would have been more emotional with Sif, IMHO, but I totally get why you reach for Idris when you can.)
- Natasha’s is the red room and her childhood.
- Ultron is terrifying. James Spader is amazing. Vision is my new favorite. Paul Bettany is amazing.
- The Hulkbuster protocol is “Calling a Veronica.” Is this a Bible reference? (Veronica wipes Jesus’s face during the road to Calvary) Or is it an Archie reference? Because Bruce Banner’s other girlfriend is Betty? Knowing Joss it could be either. Or both.
- Hawkeye has a farm!
- Hawkeye is married to Linda Cardelini!
- They have kids!
- The kids call Natasha “Aunt Nat!”
- Linda Cardelini is pregnant!
- Nick Fury hangs out in his barn!
- How did Elizabeth Olsen get so much prettier and more talented than her sisters? Is it because they had to share the pretty and talent between the two of them and she had it all to herself?
- Fury says that he got a hellicarrier out of mothballs “with the help of some old friends.” Please, oh please, let that be what Tuesday is about.
- “The city is flying, we’re fighting an army of robots, and I have a bow and arrow. NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE!” Oh Hawkguy.
- OMG JOSS FRIDGED PIETRO MAXIMOFF!!!!!!
- OMG NATASHA PUSHED BRUCE IN A HOLE TO TURN HIM INTO THE HULK AND HE WON’T FORGIVE HER FOR IT!
- OMG SO MUCH RHODEY!!!! HE’S AWESOME. HE SAVES THE WORLD.
- OMG NEW AVENGERS TEAM IS CAP, NAT, WANDA, RHODEY, SAM AND VISION! TWO LADIES, TWO BLACK DUDES, A ROBOT AND CAPTAIN AMERICA!!!!
- “Avengers…” Credits. SCREW YOU JOSS! But also, that’s a great ending
- INFINITY GAUNTLET! THANOS! “I’LL DO IT MYSELF!” WHAT IS THIS?
Anyway, that’s that. It’s movies season so let’s rank this baby!
- Avengers: Age of Ultron
The Man From UNCLE: I was excited for this anyway. But I didn’t know it was Guy Ritchie, or Henry Cavill, or Hugh Grant
Fantastic 4: Looks…good? I’m confused. This movie was supposed to be terrible.
Ant-Man: Still a thing. I guess.
Jurassic World: Ugh, so good. I just want to see Chris Pratt fight dinosaurs.
Star Wars: Shut up. You’re crying.
Happy Movie Season You Guys! I’ve missed this. I’m looking forward to a pretty intense one this year.