Batman Eternal 21-25

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Two posts today! Because even opening up about my influences isn’t going to keep me from checking in with our weekly dose of Bat-Family flat our crazy shenanigans. Seriously, how long before Dick shows up and everyone freaks the fuck out because he’s alive? It feels deeply inevitable and that it will cause Jason to spiral down into crazy town and try murder everyone again.

Haha, just kidding. But I do see some serious Batfamily relationship shenanigans on the horizon, and I really couldn’t be happier about it.

Anyway, Vicki Vale and Jason Bard and sleeping together, which is so uninteresting I can barely stand it. Also, some stuff with Falcone in Blackgate happens, and Batman agrees to work with Bard, although he makes it absolutely clear that he doesn’t trust him, and as it turns out, he probably shouldn’t.

Meanwhile, both Hush and The Architect are on the loose, and Hush puts Alfred in the hospital which leaves Julia on in charge of the Batcave, and she’s quickly christened “Penny-Two” which is frankly adorable. Also, it’s Bard that releases Kyle Gates, did I not mention that he’s working for The Roman? Well he is.

Batman puts the hurt on The Architecht, but not before he blows some crap up and Bard uses this as an excuses to Martial Law declared in Gotham, and that always goes well.

Selina is acutally a Calabrese, which is a fun little twist and explains some of how she gets the clout to take over the entire Gotham Underworld. And while normally I’d be all about an entire story recounting Selina’s daddy issues, I couldn’t bring myself to care much about this one. But the moment where she tries to save a snow leopard from Tiger Shark is pretty stinking cool. As is the fact that Tiger Shark is in this book.

Hallelujah! Steph is Spoiler and she’s kicking ass and taking names and it’s beautiful. She messes up her father’s plans over and over again and then comes face to face with him. Also Batman stops a spontaneous combustion at an art gallery which proves that Julia and Bruce make a really good team.

And now the good stuff. A lot of things happened in issue 25, but I think that Harper is now basically Tim’s partner is a pretty important development, although seriously, how long before she gets to take on her name, but that’s not what I’m talking about at all. I’m talking about Tim and Jason standing next to Alfred’s hospital bed talking about Harper and Barbara and how they’re both in way over their heads with the ladies. Also Barbara is avoiding Jason, probably because she’s super perceptive and realizes that him having a crush on her is very super weird.

But I would also like to see what would happen if they did get together and then Dick comes back and Jason has to be all, “but you were dead and also, never officially a couple, and also, I once boned Kori in the ocean, and did we ever talk about that? I mean, she barely remembered you. Were you guys even a couple in this continuity? It’s kind of unclear.”

And also obviously Tim and Harper have to get together. I did not think I could ship anything harder than Tim/Cassie (over in Teen Titans) but wow. 

So, that’s where we are with Eternal this month. There’s a lot of fun stuff with Bats coming up. Gotham Academy starts tomorrow and I badly, badly can’t wait for that.

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