So there wasn’t anything particularly exciting about DC’s offerings this week.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! That was a joke because this week was all about Grayson. And also Batgirl and Birds, but let’s be honest, I love the Ladies of Gotham very much, but Grayson.
And did I mention…
OK, you guys, I don’t want to oversell it or anything, but this book was flipping fantastic! I say flipping, not because I want to avoid cursing but because Dick does so many backflips! He’s just running around in a blond wig, on a train in Russia, talking to Helena Bertinelli on an ear piece, doing back flips. Then he takes off the wig, is on top of the train and does some more backflips. Then he hyptonizes a guy and does more backflips. Also, he punches the villain and makes lots of quips. And there are roundhouse kicks, then he talks to his handler who I thought was maybe The Question, and got excited but then it turns out he isn’t and now I’m sad. Then he did shirtless sit ups while hanging upside down in his room at Saint Hadrian’s Finishing School For Girls. (Hey! Steph went there for a minute back in the pre-52 days!) And then he almost makes out with Helena and well…I kind of lost my train of thought there….oh right, they’re spies, so no sexy time allowed! Also, it turns out the Spyral wants to unmask all the superheroes. I somehow do not see the guy who had to fake his own death, cut ties with his family and forgo sexy times (when he used to have so very many of them…) being at all OK with this. It’ll also probably going to contribute to Future’s End in a not tiny way. (Dick/Terry team up? Ah, the stuff dreams are made of…) It was everything I hoped it would be. Fun, funny, and also, shirtless, for 2 pages!
Batgirl #33: “Enemies and Allies”
Speaking of Dick’s aborted sexy times…we also got to check in with Barbara this week. A little edgy after her discovery that Knightfall is threatening her boyfriend, best friend, and family, she winds up beating the snot out of Helena (Wayne, not Bertinelli. guys, this is going to be confusing having them both around…) The Dinah restrains her and the three of them talk, and if there hadn’t been half a page of shirtless Dick Grayson this would have been my favorite page of the whole week, because I love these ladies a lot. A lot, a lot. Anyway, after the beat down, they team up to fight Knightfall, but wind up with one of her flunkies, as she is busy having sexy times with some of her other flunkies (I love Gail Simone, and I am going to miss her a great deal on this book.) Then Barbara calls all of her friends for help. Including Bruce. (Since I only read Eternal in spurts, I’m going to assume that this means they’ve made up.)
World’s Finest #25: “Farewells”
It looks like Karen was having some sexy times and Helena teases her about them. She teases Helena for being celibate, they eat cupcakes, then the ogle the Harvard crew team and decide it’s finally time to go home. I love this book. While look-wise it suffers from the big boobs, long legs, pouty lips sexist problem, it’s content is so unbelievably and unapologetically girly I can’t help but adore it. Anyway, an Earth-2 servant of Darkseid sneaks back over with Power Girl and Huntress and it turns out that Earth-2 is not in great shape. (Which we knew from Batman/Superman last week.) Again, this portal of theirs is clearly going to have Future’s End ramifications.
Justice League United #3: “Justice League Canada Part 4”
Meeyabhin is back and I was starting to wonder where she was going to fit into the story. I’m still not sure, but it was nice to see her again. In Space, though, the rest of The New Justice League including Hawkman (he had a busy week) are fighting Blyth and keep getting separated by zeta beams. And also Lobo. Until Kara kicks the crap out of him because she’s the best. A lot of things happen in this story, but I always love reading it because Martian Manhunter is one of the best characters ever, and this is really the only place to find him these days. He spends the back end of the book in the mind of The Ultimate, and comforting the exceptional child. It was a really lovely moment. Then Hawkman dies. But I’m guessing not really, since he’s around in Future’s End…
Birds of Prey #33: “Pretty Lies and Ugly Truths”
The Birds Fought the Suicide Squad and it’s really upsetting because I try to avoid the 52 versions of Harley Quinn and Amanda Waller, and they were all over this book. Dinah and Barbara were fighting them pretty hard, but it’s still just upsetting to see them, and the fact that Dinah basically was fighting Amanda over Kurt’s romantic interest in her completely depresses me. All four of these ladies deserve better than this issue. Though the cover tagline of “Black Canary Hit The Wall” is pretty great.
Superman/Wonder Woman #10: “Doomed: Superdoom Chapter 2”
Superdoom meets up with Lana and Steel and decides to save that moon, I think? And speaking of ladies who deserve better than their issues this week, if reading about Black Canary and Agent Waller cat fighting over a man was hard, watching the 12th Intelligence with Lois’s personality make bad jokes about how she and Diana have both lost their men and isn’t that sad made me want to scream. You are Lois Lane and Wonder Woman for Hera’s sake, have some friggin dignity and start winning Pulitzers, and killing crap with a sword like you’re supposed to!
Future’s End #10
I’ve decided that Superman has started wearing a mask as a form of protest, because of Spyral’s unmasking program. This is probably entirely inaccurate, but it’s my best guess. He and Lois have some of that classic Lois and Clark back and forth that the rest of their stuff is missing so badly these days. Meanwhile, at The Wounded Duck, Terry confronts the villains about helping them break into Terrifitech, and Tim confronts him about his fighting style, which he blows off. This was incredibly anti climactic and deeply, deeply, disappointing since it was clear Terry had no idea who Tim was. Did Return of The Joker not happen yet in his timeline? Or is he just trying not to blow his cover? But I greatly enjoy beardy angsty Tim, and he then gives Madison a necklace, and it’s adorable, and I really can’t wait for the Titans relaunch, so that there can be more Tim Drake in my life. In space, Hawkman’s arm grew back and he’s super not dead…not sure what happened there. On Omac Island, Grifter gets beaten up by an invisible person and Fifty Sue makes fun of him. This storyline better connect to something soon, because I like Cole and everything, but I’m like super duper bored by it. Emiko Queen recruits Big Barda, who has been working in a soup kitchen! BIG BARDA! Yay!