I watched Season 1 of House of Cards this week. I haven’t moved into season 2 yet, but I fully plan to. I know I’m a year late. And yeah, a lot of people (my sister) were mad at me because I didn’t watch it the minute they told me to! Well, I’m sorry, but there was Justice League and Doctor Who to rewatch, and then I got really into Parenthood for some reason. (Guys, but seriously, I’m sooooo worried about Joel and Julia’s marriage/divorce! I mean they just got Victor’s behavior problems under control, this is not going to be good for him.) But I did watch, it’s amazing and it awoke a long latent girl crush.
I’m talking about Miss Constance Zimmer.
God, I love this woman. She’s always so sassy and compitent and she wears sensible suits and looks awesome in bangs.
I want to hang out with her and make smart topical jokes while drinking martinis at some bar that has a lot of mahogany in it. I’ll ask her who was a better kisser, Mark Feurerstien on Good Morning Miami or Jeremy Piven on Entourage. We’ll compare the hard boiled cynicism of House of Cards with the sunny optimism of The Newsroom. I’ll ask her to recommend a hairstylist who can finally show me how to pull off bangs.
I’ve always kind of loved Constance Zimmer. Obviously, as I’ve mentioned, I watched Good Morning Miami, and really enjoyed it, as did many of the seven people who watched it. I also loved her on an even more ignored show called Out of Practice, an awesome vehicle where Stockard Channing and Henry Winkler played a divorced pair of doctors, who’s children were all doctors. She was their daughter, who I think was a lesbian gynecologist. It was a stupid CBS show that probably would have run for like ten years now, but this was in the age of Raymond when standards were a bit higher.
But then, oh then! Then came Entourage. Generally, the women of Entourage were not super stellar. They tended to be bimbos who were treated as disposable sex objects. But there were a few exceptions. And one of them was Zimmer’s Dana Gordon. By the end of the series, Dana ran Warner Brothers.
When Ari Gold split from his wife, the only other woman who could handle his Ari-ness and keep her autonomy? Dana. (Frankly, like most of season 7, I hated that plot line, but it was better than pregnancy turning Sloane into a CRAZY PERSON!) And in the end, when Ari went back to his wife, as was inevitable, Dana shrugged it off, said, this was great and I get it, and went on with her life. I presume that by the end of the Entourage movie, she will simply be presiding over Hollywood on a great throne in a kick ass black pantsuit and hipster glasses telling Ari Gold and Vince and The Boys to go fuck themselves, thank you very much.
Then of course she played Taylor Warren on The Newsroom, and killed it, and I love her character Janine on House of Cards, because anyone who consistently tells Zoe Barnes to shove it deserves undying devotion.
So let’s hang out, Constance. I can be acerbic and smart. I mean, you couldn’t tell from this, but I am perfectly capable. I’m not great in a pant suit, but my little black dress will make a good contrast. Also, seriously, your bangs. Need to learn your secret.