Sex and The Thursday Night Sitcom

Here’s the thing about my relationship with Community, which I was reflecting on as the show said good bye to Donald Glover last night. I hope his departure leads to him playing Lando Calrisian in the rumored “Young Han Solo” movie. Think about it. Anyway, I have a pretty complicated relationship with Community. I mean, as complicated a relationship as you can get with a half hour long comedy that you do consistently enjoy.

I can’t count the reasons I should stay

I really want to love it. It’s like, I’m Carrie Bradshaw and Community is Aiden, and it’s like, I should love it, it’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a TV show.

If Community were a dude, I would be super into that dude. Community is quirky and loves Doctor Who. Community tells long complicated jokes about Batman. Community gets that deconstructing Chevy Chase’s comic persona is genius. Community appreciates the unique beauty and talent of Ms. Allison Brie. Nerds love Community so much that they were momentarily OK with the idea of a black dude playing Peter Parker.

Basically, Community is a source of good in the world.

But I just don’t love Community.

I don’t. I want to, so badly. Community is so right for me in so many ways. But I don’t know what it is, I’m just not in love with Community. If I went shopping for a wedding dress after Community proposed to me, I’d totally break out into a rash. I’d cheat on Community with my married asshole ex boyfriend, I don’t know who that is, I guess The Big Bang Theory.

Mr. Big Bang Theory?

I’m always going to go back to The Big Bang Theory, I’m going to be thrilled when The Big Bang Theory comes to find me in Paris because I made the mistake of moving there with Glee. (Glee is totally the Petrovsky. Seducing me with it’s promise of comedy and music and then it turns out it’s just a big jerk who only cares about it’s own agenda.) I’m going to go totally overboard and freak The Big Bang Theory out while planning our wedding, so that it leaves me at the altar, and then forgive it and marry it because it drives my pregnant friend to the hospital when her water breaks. Then I’ll run into Community while I was on vacation in Abu Dhabi and The Big Bang Theory and I were having problems. Then Community and I would kiss and things would be weird, but I’d still make up with The Big Bang Theory at the end.

So sorry Community. I know you’re better for me. I know that a decade later people will still be saying, “Why didn’t you pick Community?” But I’m just not going to.

Of course Parks and Recreation, that’s a different story. Parks and Rec and I are Charlotte and Harry. We got off to a rocky start, but now, we’re True Love Forever!