“Two Kids Flirting in a Way that only a few people in the world understand”

Sometimes I do something so unfathomably fangirly, I surprise even myself.

I mentioned that I’ve been on a Bat-binge lately. I go on them from time to time, usually spurred on by something big happening in Bat-news, or just because I decide I want to watch Batman: The Animated Series again, or because one of the 90’s Batman movies is on TV, or well, I think you get the idea.

This time it was a combination of watching Justice League and Justice League: Unlimited on Netflix, watching Beware The Batman on Cartoon Network, and Batfleck.

It’s been a doozy, and it’s been a more intense (and expensive) trip than my usuals, which usually just consist of watching Batman Begins and the episodes of B:TAS  I love again.

So, things got kicked into high gear when the boy that I loved in high school got some awesome news. A year ago he got engaged, and now he’s about to make his Broadway debut. This is amazing, and I’m actually really excited for him.

Or like 98% of me is really excited for him,

The other 2%? The totally irrational, stuck at 17 part? The part was ROYALLY pissed off.

While the 98% of my brain was saying, “hey, this is cool. He’s a talented guy. And I bet his fiance is great. And we HAVEN’T SPOKEN TO HIM IN 7 YEARS, so I bet he’s not a huge shit head anymore, and maybe even his ridiculous 2% totally regrets stomping on our heart for four years,” the ridiculous 2% was screaming back, “NO, NO, NOOOOOOOOO!!!! He stomped on our heart for four years, and now that shit head is getting married and his dream is about to come true? And what the hell are we doing, missy? We’re still single! We’re working a dumb retail job (I actually love my job), and we’re wasting time with our blog, because no one takes us seriously anyway.”

I’m not proud of this part of my brain. But I’m more than a little grateful for it. Rather than doing nothing and feeling sorry for myself and drinking a lot, (How I would have handled this feeling a year ago) when I went on my break that day, I marched up 5th Avenue to the nearest Barnes and Noble, and I decided I was going to buy some Batman comics. (This was a way of contributing to people taking my blog seriously. I don’t know. I really wasn’t thinking clearly at the time.)

I really wanted to buy The Dark Knight Returns, because even though I’ve read it before, I wanted to read it again. But alas, it was sold out. So I went with Knightfall: Volume 1. I consumed it really quickly, in about a day and a half. This isn’t spectacularly quick for reading comics, but each volume of Knightfall is about the same size as a phone book. I went on Amazon that night and ordered the other two volumes.

I loved it. I loved Bane and his bizarre and totally bonkers fixation on destroying Batman. I loved Jean-Paul Valley and his crazy mind ghosts. I loved the father/son conflict between Dick and Bruce. I loved Dick becoming Batman, even if it was just for a minute, I loved Tim Drake’s hero worship of Dick.

I found my inner fangirl again. (Aless and Ivy get credit too. So much credit.)

Anyway, after Knightfall, I was at a bit of a loss. Where to go next, you know? But Barnes and Noble called again, and I responded by picking up Batgirl/Robin: Year One.

And it was when I finished that one, that I realized it. This wasn’t a Bat-binge at all. No. Bat-binges were more simple than this. Bat-binges ended in me watching Mask of The Phantasm and crying in my bed by myself at 2 in the morning. (Oh shut up. It’s a very emotional film.) This was something different. Because when I was picking B:TAS episodes to watch, I was picking ones like, “Robin’s Reckoning,” and “Shadow of The Bat,” and “Old Wounds.” The parts of Knightfall that I was most interested in? When Dick took over from Bruce as Batman. I was watching season 2 of Young Justice again.

Gone too soon.

Gone too soon.

I was getting annoyed at Beware The Batman, not because of it’s strange animation style, but because they had the nerve to introduce Barbara Gordon but it didn’t look like Dick Grayson was going to be within ten miles of the show. (They’ve established Katanna as Batman’s sidekick, which, awesome, but then leave Babs out of it too, ya know?)

This wasn’t about Justice League, or Ben Affleck. It was barely even about Batman.

It definitely wasn’t about a boy who broke my heart almost ten years ago.

This was about shipping.

This was my inner fangirl crying out for a couple to root for, and not finding it anywhere on TV lately, and knowing how it already felt about The Mortal Instruments. (Simon/Isabelle, FTW!) And bless her twisted little heart, she wanted it to be the police commissioner’s daughter and the orphaned acrobat.

Now, obviously, shipping Barabara/Dick isn’t a new thing. I’ve always kind of loved them, even before I knew that shipping was a thing. Watching reruns of the 60’s Batman, as a small child, I’m pretty sure that I thought, “Is Batgirl Robin’s girlfriend? She should be.” If Batman And Robin hadn’t completely butchered Batigrl’s origin story, (She’s Alfred’s niece? Or something? I remember she really hated Bruce though.) I’d say that Chris O’Donnell and Alicia Silverstone’s parts were the only defensible in the movie.

Also, anytime Clooney was in straight up "Bruce Wayne" mode.

Also, anytime Clooney was in straight up “Bruce Wayne” mode.

But seriously folks, this. Like the only good thing in the movie.

But seriously folks, this. Like the only good thing in the movie.

If this were high school, I’d go on livejournal and find a “Babs+Dick4eva!” group and make icons about them. If I had the time or inclination to write fanfiction anymore, I’d write it about them.

As it is, I’m just going to read that scene in Batgirl: Year One where he gives her her first Batcycle over and over again, and sigh happily.

Or that scene in Battle for The Cowl, where even Vicky effing Vale, (The investigative reporter who was boning Bruce Wayne for a while and still couldn’t figure out he was Batman.) realizes that they’re in love with each other.

Or the part of Batman and Robin: Batman Vs. Robin where Dick as Batman tells Kathy Kane (Batwoman) that he has a thing for redheaded crime fighters while trying to awkwardly flirt with her. (It’s not just Barbara, it’s also Starfire, but that’s not bring her into this conversation.)

Or the entire middle sections of Batgirl: The Darkest Mirror where they beat the crap out of each other, and call it “playing tag.”

Pictured: Vigilante Foreplay

Pictured: Vigilante Foreplay

Or the scene in Nightwing: Traps and Trapezes where Barbara walks in on Dick and his childhood circus friend (who he’s been boinking) and makes sarcastic comments at him. (I just finished this book, and I loved that part so much, I went back and reread it immediately.)

I think you get the point.

So I would like to welcome Dick Grayson and Barbara Gordon to the my shipping party. Go to the bar and chat with Julie The Cat Gaffney and Dean Portman, they’ve been here a while and can show you around, be careful though because Serena Vanderwoodsen and Nate Archibald are having sex on that bar. Lucas Scott and Brooke Davis will probably want to take a break from Seth Cohen and Summer Roberts constant bickering, so they’ll be around too. Looking for someone to brood with? You’ve got Jess Mariano and Rory Gilmore to talk with, although Jacob Black and Leah Clearwater are also great for that. Or maybe you feel like avoiding your feelings and obvious attraction for a while? Emma Swann and Captain Hook are around somewhere, and that’s what they’re doing. And hey! If you miss your friends and family, there’s good news! Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle are on the roof, fighting and probably making out, and Oliver Queen and Dinah Lance are in the corner making fun of everyone.

Enjoy yourselves, I certainly will.

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