May We Humbly Present Supervillains and CSD

This week we got two big villain announcements, that were of course hugely eclipsed by the fact that Miley Cyrus did something called twerking on The VMAs.

I watched it, and I still don’t quite know what it was, except that it was terrible.

Anyway, this week we found out that in The Avengers 2 James Spader will be playing Ultron, and Brian Cranston will probably be playing Lex Luthor in the sequel to Man of Steel, that lest, we all forget is actually supposed to be a Superman movie and not just about Holden McNeill playing Batman.

This is great, because they’re both terrific actors, but it’s also difficult, because of my CSD. (Character Separation Disorder, if you’re new. A pop culture disorder in which you are not able to separate an actor from a character that they once played.)

Now, since I don’t watch Breaking Bad, I still basically think of Cranston as Malcolm’s Dad.

Cook all the meth and win all the Emmys you like sir, the antics of your teenage sons will always come first.

Cook all the meth and win all the Emmys you like sir, the antics of your teenage sons will always come first.

God? Remember how AWESOME Malcolm in The Middle was? Whatever happened to Frankie Muniz? Is he still around? Agent Cody Banks was sort of the shit. Hilary Duff was in that too. She also kind of went away. So did basically then entire cast of Lizzie McGuire. Too bad. They were great. Disney Channel used to be so awesome. Like The Famous Jett Jackson. I’m sad that Lee Thompson Young killed himself. He was also good on Smallville, oh right, I’m watching a Superman movie right now. Bryan Cranston, Lex Luthor, right. 

I have just described what will happen in my brain every time Cranston appears on screen in this movie. That being said, between Cranston and Affleck, Henry Cavill is going to have to up his game considerably to not be blown away by their considerable charisma. He can’t hide behind Russell Crowe and Kevin Costner anymore. And Bruce and Lex are kind of characters that overwhelm Clark anyway, regardless of who’s playing them, so this is going to be a very interesting movie.

Now CSD can be tough to live with, but when you’re a member of “The Brat Pack,” well, it can haunt your life.

You can't come back from this level of douche-baggery

You can’t come back from this level of douche-baggery

James Spader is a fine actor and since Ultron is technically not a person so much as a giant Android, we probably won’t be seeing him much, I kind of think I’ll be OK. But I also won’t be able to escape the fact that there is a bizarre Less Than Zero reunion happening here, because if only Tony Stark can defeat Ultron, which, let’s face it, is the likely outcome here, we may get to see that happen.

They were both super hot in that movie

They were both super hot in that movie. RDJ still is, Spader, not so much.

Anyway, I’m just saying, that’s going to be fun. If Andrew McCarthy wants in on the MCU action though, I think that’ll be a tough sell.

WHAT ABOUT PROM BLANE????

WHAT ABOUT PROM BLANE????

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