An alternate title for this post:
“I need to find more shit to do during the days so I can stop having a crush on Daniel O’Brien.”
If you don’t know who Daniel O’Brien is, congratulations! You’re probably a more highly functioning member of society than I am. Good for you!
If you do know who Daniel O’Brien is, also congratulations! We should be friends. What’s your favorite episode of AoC? I like the one where Dan and Michael switch personalities.
Anyway, I should explain. Daniel O’Brien is a the senior writer for Cracked.com. Cracked is an awesome comedy website that talks a lot about pop culture and comic books. They do these hilarious list based articles. They also have these video web series that are also hilarious.
When I was out of work, I spent a lot of time clicking around the internet. I’d been casually popping by Cracked for a while. But one of the problems with Cracked is that it’s designed a little like a Casino…once you get in, there’s little motivation to get out and it’s kind of hard, and one day I found myself literally blowing my whole morning reading Cracked articles.
Then I started watching the videos, because, well, I didn’t have a job to go to, and one of the best ways to stave off depression is by laughing really hard. (This is also a good way to have your mom come in to your room and ask if you’re OK, because you’re laughing a lot and she doesn’t hear the TV…) and I started with Cracked: After Hours, which is where 4 of the Cracked writers sit around in a diner talking about Pop Culture stuff (I once wrote a screen play like that). I watched them ALL. It was a little sad.
Then I got a job…but my job is part time. I only work 20 hours a week. That leaves plenty of time for me to shit around the internet, and I still spend wayyyy too much time reading Cracked. One day, I realized that I was really enjoying the articles written by Daniel O’Brien, who I also found kind of adorable in the After Hours sketches. So I clicked on his profile on the site.
I really shouldn’t have done that. His “personal tag line” is “There really is no place in America for a celebrity of the first rank.” This is a line from Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson. I have made my thoughts on that piece of work pretty clear. I started thinking in my warped little fangirl brain, “what if Daniel O’Brien is my soul mate?” (This is the type of thought that occurs to lots of different kinds of people, I’m sure, but only the fangirls among us dedicate anything more than the passing thought to it. It’s kind of like how my brother spent a good six months referring to Pippa Middleton as “my future wife.” One does not have to be female to be a fangirl.)
Anyway, then I watched Agents of Cracked, which is another one of the web series. In that one, he and Michael Swaim (another Cracked writer) are secret agents, but they still write for the website. It doesn’t make a lot of sense, but it’s still funny. Anyway, this is all coming together to make you understand that I currently have a weird little crush on Daniel O’Brien. This is NOT my weirdest random crush on a stranger who I will probably never ever meet, by a long shot.
So yeah, currently, I am fangirling over an internet comedy writer, who’s main schtick is fanboying over Spider Man. And I kind of don’t know what to do about it, beyond finding more things to do so that I can stop having so much time to read his articles and watch videos of him and stuff.
Or, Dan, if for some reason you wind up reading this, you could email me and be a dick or something. Then I might get over it. (Also, if you’re reading this, that’s really cool, and I apologize if I came off as creepy. And I really like this article where you wrote about Bruce Wayne getting turned down by a girl at a bar. It’s very funny.)